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St. Louis named after a total badass

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  • St. Louis named after a total badass

    St. Louis Crusades His Way to Sainthood
    Louis managed to get a lot of shit done with his life, and afterlife, from being the King of France for nearly 25 years to somehow getting a city in Missouri named after him. And he also managed to go on multiple Crusades, which is kind of impressive considering that just surviving one of those would make people think you were a Highlander.
    Louis' first Crusades went kind of poorly for him, which is to say during his first attempt he and a couple thousand of his men were captured by the Egyptian army and more than the entire yearly revenue for all of France had to be paid for his ransom. So that was probably mildly embarrassing.
    Being that Crusades don't fund themselves, nor do massive ransoms for Kings who fuck up their Crusades, Louis kicked out all the Jews who were charging interest on loans in his country. So he did it because he wanted to help all of the poor and indebted peoples of his land, right? Oh, no, the loans that were owed to them still had to be repaid, just to Louis now.
    Also, the man just plain hated the Jews. He had thousands of copies of the Talmud burned. He also expanded the Inquisition in parts of France, all of which proves that badasses also tend to be dicks.
    Later in life Louis returned to the one thing that made him happy: Crusading. Probably to everyone's surprise, this worked out even worse than the first time. Louis and his army managed to land in Africa, where the King promptly came down with a wicked case of dysentery and died.
    Nevertheless, with all the crazy shit he did in the name of God, he managed to get himself venerated as a saint, potentially the only saint ever who died of the shits on his way to war.
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  • #2
    Wait, St. Louis isn't named after Lou Brock? Now he was a badass.

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    • #3
      This thread is wildly informative.
      Former 2017 OFFICIAL SPONSOR of Braves' Fill-In Matt Adams,
      Jesus is . . .


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      • #4
        going on many crusades and slaughtering people based on religion, oh how nice.
        Be passionate about what you believe in, or why bother.

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        • #5
          And we're off......

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Celtic View Post
            And we're off......
            I try very hard.
            Be passionate about what you believe in, or why bother.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by madyaks View Post
              I try very hard.
              I don't believe that. You have a natural talent.

              Moon

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              • #8
                Originally posted by madyaks View Post
                going on many crusades and slaughtering people based on religion, oh how nice.
                So, you're going to move, then?

                PLEASE?

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by madyaks View Post
                  going on many crusades and slaughtering people based on someone else's religion, oh how nice.
                  Yippee!!!
                  25MM jobs in 10 years / 4% GDP Growth / Insurance for everybody / Schools flush with cash don't produce results
                  Jan 2017: 4.7% U-3, 9.2% U-6, 62.7% LFPR, 5.2% Real Wages, 2.6% GDP, 19,827 DJIA, 2,271 S&P500, $2.316/gal

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                  • #10
                    His father took an army into England and reigned as King in London for a year or so until the other king, John, died and the English nobles that had backed Louis shifted their support to his son Henry III.
                    Official sponsor of the St. Louis Cardinals

                    "This is a heavyweight bout indeed."--John Rooney, Oct. 27, 2011

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                    • #11
                      You mean it wasn't named after Joe Louis?
                      Make America Great For Once.

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Bleacher Creature View Post
                        You mean it wasn't named after Joe Louis?
                        Do I have to say it? We'd never name our fair city after a black man.

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Reggie Cleveland View Post
                          Do I have to say it? We'd never name our fair city after a black man.
                          Ra--

                          Never mind. S'truth...
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