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Heart warming elephant story

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  • Heart warming elephant story

    In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating
    from Northwestern University .

    On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully.

    He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently
    as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away. Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

    Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his
    teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Peter and his son Cameron were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

    Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant. Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peter legs and slammed his stupid ass against the railing, killing him instantly.

    Probably wasn't the same elephant.

    This is for all of my friends who send me those heart-warming
    His mind is not for rent, to any god or government.
    Pointless debate is what we do here -- lvr

  • #2
    Obviously fake. That's something an Illinois grad would do.


    • #3
      Cool.. elephant jokes. I love them

      An elephant is walking through the jungle when she gets a thorn in her foot. She is in absolute agony until an ant strolls by. So the elephant says, "Help me, help me."

      But the ant refuses unless the elephants agrees to let the ant have his wicked way with her. Replys the elephant, "Anything! Anything!" So, out comes the thorn and up gets the ant and proceeds to enjoy himself.

      Meanwhile, in a tree directly above them, a monkey, who witnessed the whole episode, was in knots of laughter. Consequently he fell out of the tree on top of the elephant.

      Says the elephant: "Ouch!"

      Says the ant, in his own little frenzy: "Yeah take that you BITCH"


      • #4
        Every nation has to write a book about the Elephant:
        The French book - The Sex Life of the Elephant
        or: 1000 ways to cook Elephant
        The English book - Elephants I have shot on Safari
        The Welsh book - The Elephant and its influence on Welsh language and culture
        or: Oes ysgol tocynnau eleffant llanfairpwll nhadau coeden.
        The American book - How to Make Bigger And Better Elephants
        The Japanese book - How to Make Smaller And Cheaper Elephants
        The Greek book - How to Sell Elephants for a Lot of Money
        The Finnish book - What Do Elephants Think about Finnish People
        The German book - A Short Introduction to Elephants, Vol 1-6.
        The Icelandic book - Defrosting an Elephant
        The Swiss book - Switzerland: The Country Through Which Hannibal Went With His Elephants
        The Canadian book - Elephants: A Federal or State Issue?
        The Swedish book - How to reduce your taxes with an elephant.


        • #5
          Originally posted by backstop View Post
          Obviously fake. That's something an Illinois grad would do.
          I thought of Bungalow Backstop when I posted it.
          His mind is not for rent, to any god or government.
          Pointless debate is what we do here -- lvr


          • #6
            Dr. Joseph Dolan: Arnold Babar. Isn't there a children's book about an elephant named Babar?
            Fletch: I don't know. I don't have any.
            Dr. Joseph Dolan: No children?
            Fletch: No elephant books.
            Official Lounge Sponsor of Cardinals Stirrups


            • #7
              So this isn't a GOP joke thread?


              • #8
                Why didn't the two elephants go swimming?

                They only had one pair of trunks between them.



                • #9
                  ELEPHANT SOUP

                  1 med. elephant (African is best)
                  500 gal. hot water
                  2 pecks onions, finely chopped
                  1 bu. potatoes, peeled and sliced
                  5 shovels salt
                  3 shovels pepper
                  1 1/2 cases Worcestershire sauce
                  5 qts. peanut oil (optional)
                  10 bottles rum (or more if cooking time is longer or if you're expecting more than 8 guests)
                  Coke to taste

                  Mix 1 1/2 oz. of rum with coke; drink.

                  Wash and dry elephant (don't use soap as this will spoil flavor).
                  Chop into bite sized chunks. In back of 1/2 ton truck (or rented U-Haul) pour hot water.

                  Have another rum and coke and add elephant, spuds and other ingredients.

                  Allow to simmer.

                  Meanwhile, finish first bottle of rum.

                  Stir mixture using canoe paddle or small outboard motor. Allow to simmer until vegetables are tender and meat falls apart.

                  When guests arrive, start them off with remaining rum.

                  This recipe will serve 3800 people. If more are expected, 2 chopped rabbits may be added. Do this only if necessary as most people do not like to find a hare in their soup.

                  (The peanut oil won't really add to the soup, but it's the way the elephant would have wanted it!)