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  • Weddings - best man speech

    so my brother is getting married in september and i'm the best man. you people have any do/don'ts for the speech? stories are welcome too.
    ricky, shutup and paint your god damn house.

  • #2
    Start w/ a joke.

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    • #3
      Talk about the time you two took a bath together when you were kids and you told him he had a small penis.
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      • #4
        True love is the soul's recognition of its counterpoint in another...

        "Can't buy what I want because it's free...
        Can't buy what I want because it's free..."
        -- Pearl Jam, from the single Corduroy

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        • #5
          Be sure and joke about all the tail he had before he met Susie. Brides luvvvvvvvv that.

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          • #6
            Don't prep anything. Drink heavily before the dinner and wing it.

            Moon

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Moon Man View Post
              Don't prep anything. Drink heavily before the dinner and wing it.

              Moon
              Yeah, that's key, too. Try and cry if you can. And make it long. People love 10-minute toasts.

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              • #8
                Mention how his lovely new wife is so much better than all the fat chicks he used to bring home.
                “I’ve always stated, ‘I’m a Missouri Tiger,’” Anderson said March 13 after Arkansas fired John Pelphrey, adding, “I’m excited about what’s taking place here.”

                Asked then if he would talk to his players about the situation, he said, “They know me, and that’s where the trust comes in.

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                • #9
                  "Remember when we used to call your 1981 Volvo station wagon 'The Mayflower' cuz all the gals that came across it? That was awesome."

                  "Can't buy what I want because it's free...
                  Can't buy what I want because it's free..."
                  -- Pearl Jam, from the single Corduroy

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                  • #10
                    I found a website that sold speeches and provided ideas. It was helpful. Unfortunately, it was five years ago and I don't remember the website.
                    The Redman

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by stlredman View Post
                      I found a website that sold speeches and provided ideas. It was helpful. Unfortunately, it was five years ago and I don't remember the website.
                      Great story.

                      Moon

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Moon Man View Post
                        Great story.

                        Moon

                        I did omit the part about banging the bridesmaids in the limo after the ceremony, but gentlemen don't kiss and tell.
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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by yankees suck! View Post
                          so my brother is getting married in september and i'm the best man. you people have any do/don'ts for the speech? stories are welcome too.
                          Seriously: Just be sincere. Make the obligatory jokes and mouth the obligatory platitudes, but say a few things from the heart. It'll be unexpected (young guys don't do this), and as such it'll count for a lot. You'll impress people, do your brother a fine service, and single women will be lining up to make sure you "get home OK after the reception."

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Reggie Cleveland View Post
                            Seriously: Just be sincere. Make the obligatory jokes and mouth the obligatory platitudes, but say a few things from the heart. It'll be unexpected (young guys don't do this), and as such it'll count for a lot. You'll impress people, do your brother a fine service, and single women will be lining up to make sure you "get home OK after the reception."
                            thanks reggie.



                            have any of you guys actually given a speech at a wedding?
                            ricky, shutup and paint your god damn house.

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by 007 View Post
                              True love is the soul's recognition of its counterpoint in another...
                              you motor boatin' sonofabitch.
                              ricky, shutup and paint your god damn house.

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