How My Drunk Friend Summed Up Last Night's Horrific Loss

[house77]

I thought this was fairly original. He texted me this after the loss and at least a twelver:

And now the end is near and so I face the final curtain. Regrets I've had are a few (like batting the pitcher 8th), but too few to mention. I've lived a life that full, and didn't sign barry bonds. We'll stink at least another year so Joel can make another 8 mil. The Cubs will win it all. They're willing to spend unlike dedouchebage (witt). For what is a man. What has he got, if not the ballpark village, he has naught. The record shows, the bullpen took the blows, but I did it my way.

About an hour later and I'm sure another three beers, I received this:

This sucks, but thw hpcb are gdd dankmm bmthre fcking bwwerrrs?

[ElviswasaBluesFan]

Nsane, can you please translate this?

This sucks, but thw hpcb are gdd dankmm bmthre fcking bwwerrrs?

[house77]

Nsane, can you please translate this?

HA!!!!

[Donuts_For_Koharski]

I thought this was fairly original. He texted me this after the loss and at least a twelver:

And now the end is near and so I face the final curtain. Regrets I've had are a few (like batting the pitcher 8th), but too few to mention. I've lived a life that full, and didn't sign barry bonds. We'll stink at least another year so Joel can make another 8 mil. The Cubs will win it all. They're willing to spend unlike dedouchebage (witt). For what is a man. What has he got, if not the ballpark village, he has naught. The record shows, the bullpen took the blows, but I did it my way.

About an hour later and I'm sure another three beers, I received this:

This sucks, but thw hpcb are gdd dankmm bmthre fcking bwwerrrs?

Cool, Kev's got your cell number.

[house77]

Shots fired!

[Bleacher Creature]

Cool, Kev's got your cell number.

[Moon Man]

I thought this was fairly original. He texted me this after the loss and at least a twelver:

And now the end is near and so I face the final curtain. Regrets I've had are a few (like batting the pitcher 8th), but too few to mention. I've lived a life that full, and didn't sign barry bonds. We'll stink at least another year so Joel can make another 8 mil. The Cubs will win it all. They're willing to spend unlike dedouchebage (witt). For what is a man. What has he got, if not the ballpark village, he has naught. The record shows, the bullpen took the blows, but I did it my way.

About an hour later and I'm sure another three beers, I received this:

This sucks, but thw hpcb are gdd dankmm bmthre fcking bwwerrrs?

Moon

[007]

That was texted to you?

I think your friend has some sugar in his tank...

[house77]

That was texted to you?

I think your friend has some sugar in his tank...

Ha! Yeah, I think he was watching the game at home and had waaay too much time on his hands. Plus, he has a two-year old, and another one on the way. I would drink, too.

[skippy05]

Nice. Very nice.

[#1 Jimmy fan]

Hysterical.

[Blues Fan in TX]

[Nsane2Bme]

Nsane, can you please translate this?

I don't know about anyone else, but what I see is "Fuck the Sharks"

[Box & Won]

Moon

I originally thought the guy on the left looked like Vince Vaughn, but now I think he looks kind of like the guy from the ShamWow commercials.

[Glovey]

Damn, that's one long text message! Must be nice. I've got a 160 character limit (with spaces) with Verizon.