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Obama-Hillary Meeting Transcript

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  • Obama-Hillary Meeting Transcript

    Sen. Feinstein: "Welcome. Hillary, can I get you a drink?"

    Sen. Clinton: "Why do I always get the first question?"

    Sen. Obama: "I'll go first. What are my options?"

    Sen. Feinstein: "Water."

    Sen. Obama: "Fine. I'll take Perrier with a lemon slice."

    Sen. Clinton: "Elitist."

    Sen. Feinstein: "Hillary?"

    Sen. Clinton: "I brought my own bottle. The good, white, hard-working people of West Virginia keep me well-supplied."

    Sen. Feinstein: "OK, I'm going to go upstairs and leave the two of you alone."

    Sen. Obama: "Hillary, let me first say that you were a formidable opponent, and it was an honor...."

    Sen. Clinton: "Cut the crap. I want respect."

    Sen. Obama: "Yes, of course. In what form?"

    Sen. Clinton: "I want you to call me Madame President."

    Sen. Obama: "But...."

    Sen. Clinton: "And I want you to give me 300 of your delegates."

    Sen. Obama: "You're being hysterical."

    Sen. Clinton: "Sexist!"

    Former President Bill Clinton: "Is there a problem, honey?"

    Sen. Clinton: "Get the hell out of here."

    Bill Clinton: "OK, I'll be upstairs with Diane."

    Sen. Clinton: "Like I care."

    (Begins to cry.....)

    Sen. Obama: "Please, Hillary, don't do that. You know how it brings out the softer side of you, the side that that secured for you the most popular votes, if you count Michigan and Florida, which you said you wouldn't....."

    Sen. Clinton: "That's in the past now, Big O. It's time to look to the future. There's only one thing I want."

    Sen. Obama: "What's that?"

    Sen. Clinton: "Thirty million dollars."

    Sen. Obama: "Done. Can I pay it off in 10s and 20s? That's about the most we get from these cheap Internet donors."

    Sen. Clinton: "Any form of legal tender works."

    (Soundtrack from "Mandingo" fills the room as the two rivals embrace. Fade to half-black, half-white.....)
    "There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
    --Albert Einstein