Joke of the Day - The Legless Parrot

[Schwahalala]

A man walked into a pet store one day to pick up a puppy for his fiance.
While he was there he saw a crowd around a bird cage and heard laughter.

As he got closer he could hear the parrot answering questions from the crowd.
What color is my eyes said one person -
Brown replied the parrot.
What color is my hair said a woman
Blond now - but I see black roots replied the parrot.

The man asked the storeowner if the Parrot always recognized what he saw and was able to repeat it. The store owner said sure - he had even caught an employee stealing out of the cash register.

The man asked how much for the parrot - the shopkeeper said he could never part with him. Since the parrot required some special care. An accident had left him without feet - and he was only able to hold onto the perch with his penis.

He then asked if he could just rent the bird for a couple of weeks - he explained to the man that he sort of suspected his fiance might be cheating on him and he was only getting the puppy to occupy some of her time.

For 500 a week the shop keeper consented.

Everyday the man would come home and ask the parrot what happened - the parrot said nothing until Wednesday of the second week.

The parrot told the man that right after he left - his brother came over. That his brother kissed his fiance hard - grabbed her breast - ripped off her blouse - picked her up and took off her panties.

The man said what happened next.

The parrot replied - I don't know - My Dick got hard and I fell.

[Ty Shula]

this is a former parrot

[Moon Man]

Actually, a parrot's penis isn't large enough for it to hold onto a perch.

Airshark

[Ty Shula]

he's pinning for the fjords

[Schwahalala]

Actually, a parrot's penis isn't large enough for it to hold onto a perch.

Airshark

African Parrot

[Ty Shula]

Norwegian Blues stun easily, major.

[davhaf]

No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, idn'it, ay? Beautiful plumage!

[davhaf]

African Parrot

[davhaf]

'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e
rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the
bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!

[RedBirdBrain]

African Parrot

But what is its unladen airspeed?

-RBB

[ElviswasaBluesFan]

A five year old boy and his grandpa are sitting on the front porch together, when gramps pulls a beer out of his cooler. The little boy asks: 'Can I have a beer Grandpa?'

Grandpa replies: 'Can your pecker touch your ass?'

The little boy answered: 'No Grandpa. It's just a little pecker'. Gramps says: 'Well then, you're not man
enough to have a beer'.

A little later Grandpa lights up a cigar.

The little boy asks: 'Can I have a cigar Grandpa?'

Once again, Grandpa asks: 'Can your pecker touch your ass?'

Once again the little boy replies, 'No, it's too little'.

Gramps replies, 'Then you're not man enough to have a cigar'.

A little later the little boy comes out of the house with milk and some cookies.

Grandpa asks, 'Hey there young feller, can I have a cookie?'

The boy ask, 'Can your pecker touch your ass?'

Gram ps replies, 'Hell yes, my pecker can touch my ass'.

The little boy replies, 'Then go fuck yourself'. Grandma made these for me'.

[Jack Daniels]

What did Custer wear to the battle @ Little Big Horn?

An Arrow shirt!

[RedBirdBrain]

What did Custer wear to the battle @ Little Big Horn?

An Arrow shirt!

-RBB

[Jack Daniels]

-RBB

The Far Side?

[Ty Shula]

this skit has become entirely too silly!