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I am the very model of a modern Major-General

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  • I am the very model of a modern Major-General

    I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral
    I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical
    From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical

    I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical
    I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical
    About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news
    With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse

    With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse
    With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse
    With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotepotenuse

    I'm very good at integral and differential calculus
    I know the scientific names of beings animalculous
    In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
    I am the very model of a modern Major-General

    In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
    He is the very model of a modern Major-General

    I know our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's
    I answer hard acrostics, I've a pretty taste for paradox
    I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus
    In conics I can floor peculiarities parabolous

    I can tell undoubted Raphaels from Gerard Dows and Zoffanies
    I know the croaking chorus from the Frogs of Aristophanes
    Then I can hum a fugue of which I've heard the music's din afore
    And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore

    And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore
    And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore
    And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinapinafore

    Then I can write a washing bill in Babylonic cuneiform
    And tell you ev'ry detail of Caractacus's uniform
    In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
    I am the very model of a modern Major-General

    In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
    He is the very model of a modern Major-General

    In fact, when I know what is meant by "mamelon" and "ravelin"
    When I can tell at sight a Mauser rifle from a javelin
    When such affairs as sorties and surprises I'm more wary at
    And when I know precisely what is meant by "commissariat"

    When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern gunnery
    When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery
    In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy
    You'll say a better Major-General had never sat a gee

    You'll say a better Major-General had never sat a gee
    You'll say a better Major-General had never sat a gee
    You'll say a better Major-General had never sat a sat a gee

    For my military knowledge, though I'm plucky and adventury
    Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century
    But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
    I am the very model of a modern Major-General

    But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
    He is the very model of a modern Major-General


  • #2
    When you're a Jet,
    You're a Jet all the way
    From your first cigarette
    To your last dyin' day.

    When you're a Jet,
    If the spit hits the fan,
    You got brothers around,
    You're a family man!

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    You're never disconnected!
    You're home with your own:
    When company's expected,
    You're well protected!

    Then you are set
    With a capital J,
    Which you'll never forget
    Till they cart you away.
    When you're a Jet,
    You stay a Jet!
    .....

    The Jets are in gear,
    Our cylinders are clickin'!
    The Sharks'll steer clear
    'Cause ev'ry Puerto Rican's a lousy chicken!

    Here come the Jets
    Like a bat out of hell.
    Someone gets in our way,
    Someone don't feel so well!

    Here come the Jets:
    Little world, step aside!
    Better go underground,
    Better run, better hide!

    We're drawin' the line,
    So keep your noses hidden!
    We're hangin' a sign,
    Says "Visitors forbidden"
    And we ain't kiddin'!

    Here come the Jets,
    Yeah! And we're gonna beat
    Ev'ry last buggin' gang
    On the whole buggin' street!
    On the whole!
    Ever!
    Mother!
    Lovin'!
    Street!
    Yeah!
    Former Sponsor of Kyle "The Comeback Kid" Lohse.

    And Current (and former) Lounge Sponsor of Yadier "No-Glove til I get a Gold Glove" Molina and one BAMF

    Sponsoring Friends and Proud Co-Sponsor of Captain Morgan

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