First, there was Felix Pie's testicle issue; Now Kaz Matsui has...

[007]

..anal fissures and will be out four days...

[Jeffro]

Testicular torsion sounds like the most painful injury I can imagine.

[Razzy]

An anal fissure is an unnatural crack or tear in the anus skin. As a fissure, these tiny tears may show as bright red rectal bleeding and cause severe periodic pain after defecation.^[1] The tear usually extends from the anal opening and located posteriorly in the midline. This location is probably because of the relatively unsupported nature of the anal wall in that location.

[edit] Causes

Most anal fissures are caused by stretching of the anal mucosa beyond its capability. Various causes of this fissure include:

• Straining to defecate, especially if the stool is hard and dry
• Severe and chronic constipation
• Severe and chronic diarrhea
• Crohn's disease and Ulcerative colitis
• Tight sphincter muscles
• Anal intercourse

Prevention
In infants under one year old, frequent diaper change can prevent anal fissure. For adults, the following can help prevent fissure:

• Treating constipation by eating food rich in dietary fiber, avoiding caffeine (which can increase constipation),^[4] drinking a lot of water and taking stool softener.
• Treating diarrhea promptly.
• Lubricating the anal canal with a water-based lubrication before inserting anything into the anal canal.(petroleum jelly is not recommended because it can harbor harmful bacteria).
• Avoiding straining or prolonged sitting on the toilet.
• Using a moist wipe instead of perfumed and harsh toilet paper.
• Keeping the anus dry and hygienic.
• When using Analpram (cream) do not use the dispenser which can injure the area. Instead use a finger to insert a pea size amount of cream.
• Carmex lip ointment (the version without sunscreen-protection chemicals) also helps and is much less expensive than Analpram ($70.00 small tube).

[Sheriff Blaylock]

Nice to see my team's new second baseman out with an asshole.

You'd think they make something up like a turf toe. This may be worse than Wandy almost missing a start because of mouth sores.

[BringBackZezel]

Testicular torsion sounds like the most painful injury I can imagine.

I met a woman at a Cards game a few years ago who said she was a professional ball untwister. As it turns out she deals with testicular torsion regularly...and she agrees with you. Apparently it's more painful than giving birth.

[cardinalgirl]

Nice to see my team's new second baseman out with an asshole.

You'd think they make something up like a turf toe. This may be worse than Wandy almost missing a start because of mouth sores.

1 in 4 Astros players has STDs?

[Razzy]

Nice to see my team's new second baseman out with an asshole.

Well, you can do your part and send him some soft toilet paper, some stool softener, advise him to eat more Wheaties and to try and avoid anal sex if at all possible.

[Glovey]

Guess he's been spending too much time with Kazuhito Tadano, the former Indians pitcher who also moonlighted as a gay porn star.

[Hepatitis Dispenser]

Guess he's been spending too much time with Kazuhito Tadano, the former Indians pitcher who also moonlighted as a gay porn star.

I don't think anyone with the name Kazuhito, unless it is a new ghetto name that I haven't heard yet, is going to hurt anybody's ass

[Razzy]

An injured asshole sounds like something that only JD Drew could have come down with.

[drobny23]

Greg Maddux once spent time on the DL after "leaning on a bat."

[sportschick]

An injured asshole sounds like something that only JD Drew could have come down with.

JD had vaginal fissures...injured va jay-jay

[Brummerball]

JD had vaginal fissures...injured va jay-jay

Fantastic!

[Jack Daniels]

Ulcerative colitis

Been there done that...nearly died.

The absolute worst....

[kah]

I mentioned this in another thread, but Rocco Baldelli, DL veteran, is on the DL now because he is too tired to play.