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  • Child Custody

    Does anyone know at what age a child can appear before a judge (in Illinois) and have a custody order amended? My "step" daughter is 12 and she really does not want to go see her biological father anymore. She remembers him physically and emotionally abusing my wife. All she wants is the choice of whether or not she has to go see him on his weekends.

    He is behind on his child support (several thousand dollars) but I really do not want to go back to court unless something is actually going to change. Watching an attorney bill continue to rise and getting nothing for it is getting old.

    Suggestions please.
    Last edited by BlueBrained; 03-01-2008, 12:44 PM.
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  • #2
    Whack the ex-husband.
    I agree with Davhaf.....Kaiser March 9,2004

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    • #3
      Back in the day, I had the option of visiting my mom or not. I mostly didn't.
      I agree with Davhaf.....Kaiser March 9,2004

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      Mick Jagger is in better shape than far too many NBA players. It's up in the air whether the same can be said of Keith Richards.

      Bill Walton

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      • #4
        Originally posted by BlueBrained View Post
        Does anyone know at what age a child can appear before a judge (in Illinois) and have a custody order amended? My "step" daughter is 12 and she really does not want to go see her biological father anymore. She remembers him physically and emotionally abusing my wife. All she wants is the choice of whether or not she has to go see him on his weekends.

        He is behind on his child support (several thousand dollars) but I really do not want to go back to court unless something is actually going to change. Watching an attorney bill continue to rise and getting nothing for it is getting old.

        Suggestions please.
        I have the same fight going on at my house (go figure). My Sperm Donor is providing the double standard of "your old enough to decide if you want to come over" - but then throws in the "I don't care what you want, you're coming over"...so the kids just go, rather than deal with his idiotness. All my Sperm Donor is doing is proving my point...but oh well.

        We start a trial on 03/13 just because he's behind in his child support and has blown off going to court for a year. The only good thing for me is that court is going thru the state, so it's not costing me anything...but my time and being a pain in my ass. Then again...who knows what will happen when it all starts.

        My appologies to you and J...it seems to be never ending, you know?
        Feb. 08, 2005
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        • #5
          can't your lawyer give you the answer?

          maybe far52 can give you the answer as I believe he's an attorney in Illinois.

          El Birdo too?

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          • #6
            Ask him nicely to sign over his rights and then you will not make him pay the back child support. He may do it if he really is a dead beat dad and doesn't pay the money.

            If he says he won't do it threaten to take him back to court and tell him you will make sure he has to pay half of any college his daughter wants to go to.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Nsane2Bme View Post
              I have the same fight going on at my house (go figure). My Sperm Donor is providing the double standard of "your old enough to decide if you want to come over" - but then throws in the "I don't care what you want, you're coming over"...so the kids just go, rather than deal with his idiotness. All my Sperm Donor is doing is proving my point...but oh well.

              We start a trial on 03/13 just because he's behind in his child support and has blown off going to court for a year. The only good thing for me is that court is going thru the state, so it's not costing me anything...but my time and being a pain in my ass. Then again...who knows what will happen when it all starts.

              My appologies to you and J...it seems to be never ending, you know?
              Good luck with this. Mine has already been arrested again for non-payment. He's only been out for a year and a half. He quit his job when they garnished his wages for the whopping $300/month.

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              • #8
                Our attorney hasn't done much, but our bill continues to go up. He wants to now go back to court to bring all the back child support and his non payment of his half of the girls' medical, vision, dental expenses to their attention. He hasn't offered us any help with the girls not having to go there. As far as asking him to give up his rights...that won't happen. To him that is the only power he holds over my wife...the kids. He doesn't give a crap of what he is doing to them.
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                • #9
                  Having sorta gone through this as a child, I think the age is 12. Or at least it was when I was a lad.
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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by skippy05 View Post
                    Having sorta gone through this as a child, I think the age is 12. Or at least it was when I was a lad.
                    Were you successful in stopping visitation? Were there any major issues during visitation or was it straight up "I don't want to go"?

                    And aren't you like 80, so haven't the laws changed by now?
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                    • #11
                      Tell your attorney you want your s-daughter to talk to a GAL and your s-daughter will have to tell him how she feels about going to dads house. The judge will take his recomendation into consideration when ruling.

                      Other than that, if he has court ordered rights to see her and isn't beating down your door to see her, I'd leave it alone.

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by skippy05 View Post
                        Having sorta gone through this as a child, I think the age is 12. Or at least it was when I was a lad.
                        Why do I sense this as a missed opportunity?

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                        • #13
                          Man I can't remember, a friend of mine at work just had his daughter go to court saying she wanted the custody order overturned, and that she wanted to live with dad.
                          I'll try to get in touch with him.
                          Be passionate about what you believe in, or why bother.

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                          • #14
                            Oh, just go buy a doll and coach the kid to say Daddy touched her in the no-no place.

                            Problem solved.

                            Moon

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by #1 Jimmy fan View Post
                              Tell your attorney you want your s-daughter to talk to a GAL and your s-daughter will have to tell him how she feels about going to dads house. The judge will take his recomendation into consideration when ruling.

                              Other than that, if he has court ordered rights to see her and isn't beating down your door to see her, I'd leave it alone.
                              GAL?
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