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Garfield could have been the funniest potus ever--but

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  • Garfield could have been the funniest potus ever--but

    some lawyer sob shot him. and then the doctors botched things up.

    Most historians and medical experts now believe that Garfield probably would have survived his wound had the doctors attending him been more capable. Several inserted their unsterilized fingers into the wound to probe for the bullet, and one doctor punctured Garfield's liver in doing so. This alone would not have brought about death as the liver is one of the few organs in the human body that can regenerate itself. However, this physician probably introduced Streptococcus bacteria into the President's body and that caused blood poisoning for which at that time there were no antibiotics.

    There was no mention of insurance company involvement---just doctors and lawyers.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_A..._assassination
    v



  • #2
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    • #3
      Dupe. Already got a Garfield thread.

      Moon

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Moon Man View Post
        Dupe. Already got a Garfield thread.

        Moon
        yeah, but do they have a character who

        Guiteau was destitute and increasingly slovenly due to wearing the same clothes every day, the only clothes he owned, but
        yeah---I guess they do. my bad.
        v


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        • #5
          I just had some Chinese. It was okay. I was thinking about getting another Starbucks, but I've already had one and a Monster on top of that, so I decided against it.
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          • #6
            So---somebody does a what if obama thread, and people post 20 parodies of it, but I try to parody garfield and....noooo...

            I try so hard, but does anyone even.......never mind.
            Last edited by kjoe; 02-28-2008, 06:56 PM.
            v


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            • #7
              No baseball, no football, no politics for a while
              Sometimes elections have positive consequences!

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              • #8
                Guiteau became something of a media darling during his trial for his bizarre behavior, including constantly badmouthing his defense team, formatting his testimony in epic poems which he recited at length, and soliciting legal advice from random spectators in the audience via passed notes. He claimed that he was not guilty because Garfield's murder was the will of God and he was only an instrument of God's will.[41] He sang "John Brown's Body" to the court.[42] He dictated an autobiography to the New York Herald, ending it with a personal ad for a nice Christian lady under thirty. He was blissfully oblivious to the American public's outrage and hatred of him, even after he was almost assassinated twice himself. At one point, he argued that Garfield was killed not by himself but by medical malpractice ("The doctors killed Garfield, I just shot him"). Throughout the trial and up until his execution, Guiteau was housed at St. Elizabeths Hospital in the southeastern quadrant of Washington, D.C.
                !

                Anybody who finds this interesting should pick up a copy of "Assassination Vacation".
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                • #9
                  Originally posted by kah View Post
                  !

                  Anybody who finds this interesting should pick up a copy of "Assassination Vacation".
                  Just based on that excerpt, it does actually sound like an interesting story.
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                  • #10
                    I like you kjoe. Forget these folks who like to yell "IN".
                    Make America Great For Once.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by skippy05 View Post
                      Just based on that excerpt, it does actually sound like an interesting story.
                      That's from the Wikipedia page. "Assassination Vacation" is a book by Sarah Vowell where she takes field trips the the assassination sites of Lincoln, Garfield, and McKinley. Pretty interesting reading.

                      Poor Garfield couldn't catch a break. Fucker lost 75 pounds or so on his deathbed.
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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by kjoe View Post
                        So---somebody does a what if obama thread, and people post 20 parodies of it, but I try to parody garfield and....noooo...

                        I try so hard, but does anyone even.......never mind.
                        I think i get it, now. That Isaac Bruce stuff is really funny, without being overly sophisticated, or simplistic.
                        v


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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Bleacher Creature View Post
                          I like you kjoe. Forget these folks who like to yell "IN".
                          Nobody said "In."

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                          • #14
                            I read or saw somewhere that he would have lived if they did nothing. the slug was in a place where he could have gone a long time with no real damage.

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                            • #15
                              To be fair, this is my favorite kjoe thread of all time.

                              Then again, Charles Guiteau was the craziest presidential assassin of all time, so.

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