2008 St. Louis Cardinals Prediction Thread

[kah]

The first Spring Training game is in 48 hours. Fire away.

[cardinalgirl]

WORLD SERIES HERE WE COME

[Guppy]

70 wins

[kah]

Goddammit. Would it be possible for a moderator to change "hits heat" to "hits head". Fucking typos.

[dooz]

In the Year 2000

"To stop all the skinny jokes, Calista Flockhart puts on 400 pounds. Unfortunately, everyone else puts on 800 pounds and the ridicule begins anew."

"The number '3' will be outlawed, thereby making all omelettes either too large or too small."

"The film 'The Matrix II' is released, containing the most amazing special effects to date, including an unbelievable scene where it appears Keanu Reeves can read."

"Crayola Crayons will be forced to change the name of its crayon 'Burnt Siena' when Dodgers catcher Carlos Siena spontaneously bursts into flames."

"Cattle will run wild in the streets when all cowboys quit their jobs after realizing that wearing chaps is kind of 'gay.'"

"Doctors will use onomatopoeia to rename all medical conditions. Diarrhoea will be known as buggity blap blap verslatch."

"After hearing that Celine Dion is taking two years off to have a baby, the American listening public tries desperately to impregnate Kenny G."

"Soon after the country's most beloved TV personality is killed in a sky diving accident, industrious fans turn tragedy into opportunity by opening Oprah Crater Park."

"Two billionaire balloonists successfully circumnavigate the globe setting a new record not for distance but for number of people who don't care."

"Monica Lewinski's famous blue dress will be sold at auction to an evil industrialist who will use the DNA to clone his own army of horny, lying rednecks."

"Tired of all the skinny jokes, Calista Flockhart decides to eat a 25-pound steak on national television. Unfortunately she forgets a knife and has to cut the meat with her elbow."

"Mark McGwire will become the richest man on earth, when he finally learns to tie a string to every ball he hits."

"Oprah Winfrey will finally quit her daytime talk show, and devote all of her time to her favorite cause - pancakes."

[Razzy]

72-90 for the Cardinals this year.

Something awful will happen. Either Pujols blows his elbow out or Wainwright will come down with a serious injury. And Glaus will miss about 60 games with various ailments.

[kah]

Goddammit. Would it be possible for a moderator to change "hits heat" to "hits head". Fucking typos.

Thanks!

[ElviswasaBluesFan]

It's a .500 team, and I'm being overly optimistic. It is almost Spring afterall. Reality won't set in until June or so.

[Schwahalala]

Well as usual you guys aren't paying attention.

World Series or bust - baby?

That's me Mr. 95 or better - bet you never would have guessed.

Here's how its done. First Derrick Lee and Ramirez get into a fight with Zambrano as the peace maker - When it's revealed all three are lost - the cub fans tears over flow Lake Michigan and the stadium is finally cleansed of the urine stains - but the Cubs have to play in White Sox stadium for the first 40 home games. White Sox personell sabatoge each game.

The Brewers meanwhile find out bullpen by purchase is only good if you have starters with a purpose - Suppan pitches 6 innings each game - Sheets 5 - David Duchovny from the X files 4 - and the rest of their starters 3.

Meanwhile Barry Bonds lands with the Reds and refuses to run after fly balls. Griffey runs into him and both are out.

The Astros finally realize how Pujols hit that home run by slowing the film down. They see an invisible man stop the ball and place it on a T. Wait that's no invisible man that's Brian McNamee and he has vowed to haunt all the Astros with his new HGH formula that allows him to travel through time and space.

The Pirates are the only Cardinal competition until the playoffs when San Diego and the Mets repeat choking patterns.

The World Series is a Red Sox Cardinal affair again. Cardinals win the first two at home then their fans buy up all the Red Sox seats as we sweep in Boston. Police use tear gas and pepper spray liberally on the Red Sox players and Red Sox fans.

Book it.

[Bleacher Creature]

The Royals will finish with more victories than the Cards.

[ElviswasaBluesFan]

The Royals will finish with more victories than the Cards.

Hush yo mouf!!

[SKIDOG]

I say 86-90 because not many other people will and I'm a rebel...

[Ty Shula]

The Royals will finish with more victories than the Cards.

oh no you diddint

[sketch]

74-88. This is probably overachieving

[kah]

I keep getting a 404 Error when clicking the numbers to see who's voting for what. Odd.

PECOTA and the general doomsaying aside, I think we'll be marginally better. Glaus is an upgrade over Rolen. Whoever we have in CF, Rasmus or Ankiel, will be an upgrade over the husk of Jim Edmonds. If Rasmus makes the team and Ankiel shifts to right, they will be an upgrade over Edmonds and Encarnacion. And the starting pitching can't possibly be worse. We gave 27 starts last year to Brad Thompson, Mike Maroth and Randy Keisler.

So I picked 81-85 wins.

The wild card obviously is Pujols' elbow. If Pujols' elbow fails then all of the above is inoperative and there is no limit to how bad this team could be.