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Okay, so I’ve been sick for the past week and tonight I finally feel somewhat decent. It had been too long since my last beer, so I’ve had about seven or eight tonight and I have gotten the uncanny nerve to post how the Cardinals are going to have a winning record and compete for the N.L. Central. That’s right, I’m wasted.
Check out the optimistic ignorance I am capable of spewing. Here’s how it goes down.
Here’s my starting lineup. I know Tony’s will be different as he likes the R/L/R/L. I’m not as concerned with that shit.
Colby Rasmus, CF—Here’s our leadoff hitter for 2008 and the NL ROY. Yep. Rasmus will explode onto the big league scene, ala Pujols. Juan Gonzalez will be on track to make the team and an injury late in Spring Training will prevent him from making the trip north. Rasmus gets the nod and never looks back. Just like Albert.
Projection: .287/20 HRs/108 runs/18 SBs/.360 OBP
Rick Ankiel, RF—Against righties, Rick will bat in the two-hole and see plenty of fastballs hitting in front of Albert. With gained patience and some major league hitting experience under his belt, Rick will demonstrate that he’s a remarkable talent who is capable of improving at age 28. At times, he’ll play like an All-Star, but he’ll endure several slumps. We all know he’ll have his share of Ks, but his walks are going to increase. He’s going to be very picky hitting in front of Albert and he will establish himself as one of the better RFers in the NL.
Projection: .275/33 HRs/95 runs/15 SBs/80 RBIs/.335 OBP
Albert Pujols, 1B—Pujols will prove he knows what he’s doing with his elbow. He’ll be his normal, Albert self.
Projection: One of the top three hitters in baseball
Troy Glaus, 3B—No one is happier to be inSt. Louis
Projection: I pretty much just gave it
Chris Duncan, LF—He’ll be healthy and he’ll keep improving at the plate. Before being sidelined last season,Duncan
Projection: .278/38 HRs/95 RBIs/.870 OPS
Yadier Molina, C—Hey, Yadi hit .275 last year!!! I’ll take that in ’08, too. Let’s make it .280 this year since I’m all buzzed up. Also, ’08 is the year Yadi wins the Gold Glove. I can’t wait for his first pickoff.
Projection: .280/10 HRs/65 RBIs
Adam Kennedy, 2B—2008 cannot be worse for Kennedy than 2007 was. It’s statistically impossible. He led the league in six-hop ground balls to second base last season. No one has more to prove in 2008 than Kennedy after hitting just .219 last season. The year before last, he hit .273. The year before that, he hit .300. He’s a career .275 hitter and we’ll see something close to that this season. He’ll play solid defense and contribute some big hits.
Projection: .282/5 HRs/.335 OBP
Cesar Izturis, SS—I have no reason to believe he’s going to be worth a shit.
Projection: He’ll fucking suck and have to be replaced
So far, this team is going to be fun to watch, eh? And here’s why our starting rotation will be better than most think. Wait, I’m not that drunk. The bullpen should be pretty solid, though.
Okay, I’ve sobered up since I began typing. We’ll go 78-84 and finish 4th. Fucking Izturis ruined it. I almost had myself convinced….
Check out the optimistic ignorance I am capable of spewing. Here’s how it goes down.
Here’s my starting lineup. I know Tony’s will be different as he likes the R/L/R/L. I’m not as concerned with that shit.
Colby Rasmus, CF—Here’s our leadoff hitter for 2008 and the NL ROY. Yep. Rasmus will explode onto the big league scene, ala Pujols. Juan Gonzalez will be on track to make the team and an injury late in Spring Training will prevent him from making the trip north. Rasmus gets the nod and never looks back. Just like Albert.
Projection: .287/20 HRs/108 runs/18 SBs/.360 OBP
Rick Ankiel, RF—Against righties, Rick will bat in the two-hole and see plenty of fastballs hitting in front of Albert. With gained patience and some major league hitting experience under his belt, Rick will demonstrate that he’s a remarkable talent who is capable of improving at age 28. At times, he’ll play like an All-Star, but he’ll endure several slumps. We all know he’ll have his share of Ks, but his walks are going to increase. He’s going to be very picky hitting in front of Albert and he will establish himself as one of the better RFers in the NL.
Projection: .275/33 HRs/95 runs/15 SBs/80 RBIs/.335 OBP
Albert Pujols, 1B—Pujols will prove he knows what he’s doing with his elbow. He’ll be his normal, Albert self.
Projection: One of the top three hitters in baseball
Troy Glaus, 3B—No one is happier to be in
Projection: I pretty much just gave it
Chris Duncan, LF—He’ll be healthy and he’ll keep improving at the plate. Before being sidelined last season,
Projection: .278/38 HRs/95 RBIs/.870 OPS
Yadier Molina, C—Hey, Yadi hit .275 last year!!! I’ll take that in ’08, too. Let’s make it .280 this year since I’m all buzzed up. Also, ’08 is the year Yadi wins the Gold Glove. I can’t wait for his first pickoff.
Projection: .280/10 HRs/65 RBIs
Adam Kennedy, 2B—2008 cannot be worse for Kennedy than 2007 was. It’s statistically impossible. He led the league in six-hop ground balls to second base last season. No one has more to prove in 2008 than Kennedy after hitting just .219 last season. The year before last, he hit .273. The year before that, he hit .300. He’s a career .275 hitter and we’ll see something close to that this season. He’ll play solid defense and contribute some big hits.
Projection: .282/5 HRs/.335 OBP
Cesar Izturis, SS—I have no reason to believe he’s going to be worth a shit.
Projection: He’ll fucking suck and have to be replaced
So far, this team is going to be fun to watch, eh? And here’s why our starting rotation will be better than most think. Wait, I’m not that drunk. The bullpen should be pretty solid, though.
Okay, I’ve sobered up since I began typing. We’ll go 78-84 and finish 4th. Fucking Izturis ruined it. I almost had myself convinced….
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