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  • Here's how it goes down....

    Okay, so I’ve been sick for the past week and tonight I finally feel somewhat decent. It had been too long since my last beer, so I’ve had about seven or eight tonight and I have gotten the uncanny nerve to post how the Cardinals are going to have a winning record and compete for the N.L. Central. That’s right, I’m wasted.

    Check out the optimistic ignorance I am capable of spewing. Here’s how it goes down.

    Here’s my starting lineup. I know Tony’s will be different as he likes the R/L/R/L. I’m not as concerned with that shit.

    Colby Rasmus, CF—Here’s our leadoff hitter for 2008 and the NL ROY. Yep. Rasmus will explode onto the big league scene, ala Pujols. Juan Gonzalez will be on track to make the team and an injury late in Spring Training will prevent him from making the trip north. Rasmus gets the nod and never looks back. Just like Albert.

    Projection: .287/20 HRs/108 runs/18 SBs/.360 OBP

    Rick Ankiel, RF—Against righties, Rick will bat in the two-hole and see plenty of fastballs hitting in front of Albert. With gained patience and some major league hitting experience under his belt, Rick will demonstrate that he’s a remarkable talent who is capable of improving at age 28. At times, he’ll play like an All-Star, but he’ll endure several slumps. We all know he’ll have his share of Ks, but his walks are going to increase. He’s going to be very picky hitting in front of Albert and he will establish himself as one of the better RFers in the NL.

    Projection: .275/33 HRs/95 runs/15 SBs/80 RBIs/.335 OBP

    Albert Pujols, 1B—Pujols will prove he knows what he’s doing with his elbow. He’ll be his normal, Albert self.

    Projection: One of the top three hitters in baseball

    Troy Glaus, 3B—No one is happier to be in St. Louis in 2008 than Glaus. He’ll perform just as he did in ’05 and ’06 when he averaged 151 games, 38 HRs, 101 RBIs, and an OPS between .850 and .890. He’s going to love hitting in Busch III.

    Projection: I pretty much just gave it

    Chris Duncan, LF—He’ll be healthy and he’ll keep improving at the plate. Before being sidelined last season, Duncan was attempting to establish himself as a legitimate, left handed power threat. He has launched 44 bombs in his first 665 major-league ABs (that’s 1 HR every 15 ABs). Those numbers indicate he is a threat. His career OPS is just under .900. His “career” does consist of about one whole season, but come on. This is the optimistic thread, remember? Also, he and CG will hook up and become lovers.

    Projection: .278/38 HRs/95 RBIs/.870 OPS

    Yadier Molina, C—Hey, Yadi hit .275 last year!!! I’ll take that in ’08, too. Let’s make it .280 this year since I’m all buzzed up. Also, ’08 is the year Yadi wins the Gold Glove. I can’t wait for his first pickoff.

    Projection: .280/10 HRs/65 RBIs

    Adam Kennedy, 2B—2008 cannot be worse for Kennedy than 2007 was. It’s statistically impossible. He led the league in six-hop ground balls to second base last season. No one has more to prove in 2008 than Kennedy after hitting just .219 last season. The year before last, he hit .273. The year before that, he hit .300. He’s a career .275 hitter and we’ll see something close to that this season. He’ll play solid defense and contribute some big hits.

    Projection: .282/5 HRs/.335 OBP

    Cesar Izturis, SS—I have no reason to believe he’s going to be worth a shit.

    Projection: He’ll fucking suck and have to be replaced

    So far, this team is going to be fun to watch, eh? And here’s why our starting rotation will be better than most think. Wait, I’m not that drunk. The bullpen should be pretty solid, though.

    Okay, I’ve sobered up since I began typing. We’ll go 78-84 and finish 4th. Fucking Izturis ruined it. I almost had myself convinced….


    Last edited by F the Cubs; 02-20-2008, 10:24 PM.
    --Official Lounge Sponsor of Coach Mike Anderson, Colby Rasmus, and Pearl Jam.
    --Suck it cubbies.
    --Thanks to RBB for my kick ace avatar!!** --RETIRE #51!!!

  • #2
    Of course you sobered up: you probably started typing this an hour ago

    "Can't buy what I want because it's free...
    Can't buy what I want because it's free..."
    -- Pearl Jam, from the single Corduroy

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by 007 View Post
      Of course you sobered up: you probably started typing this an hour ago
      About 45 minutes....

      --Official Lounge Sponsor of Coach Mike Anderson, Colby Rasmus, and Pearl Jam.
      --Suck it cubbies.
      --Thanks to RBB for my kick ace avatar!!** --RETIRE #51!!!

      Comment


      • #4
        I knew you were drunk when you posted Rasmus' numbers and sobered up at Izturis

        "Can't buy what I want because it's free...
        Can't buy what I want because it's free..."
        -- Pearl Jam, from the single Corduroy

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by 007 View Post
          I knew you were drunk when you posted Rasmus' numbers and sobered up at Izturis
          Colby's numbers are legit, man. You probably didn't know that I'm his sponsor. Kennedy's .280+ average was hard to type, too. I think Tony is favoring Miles going into ST. Just a hunch, but it seems like Adam really dug a hole with him last season. It's going to take a great spring to get out of it.
          --Official Lounge Sponsor of Coach Mike Anderson, Colby Rasmus, and Pearl Jam.
          --Suck it cubbies.
          --Thanks to RBB for my kick ace avatar!!** --RETIRE #51!!!

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by F the Cubs View Post
            Colby's numbers are legit, man. You probably didn't know that I'm his sponsor. Kennedy's .280+ average was hard to type, too. I think Tony is favoring Miles going into ST. Just a hunch, but it seems like Adam really dug a hole with him last season. It's going to take a great spring to get out of it.
            He'll do great, I'm his sponsor. Look what I did with Mulder!
            RIP Stan the Man
            The StL Blues will NEVER win the Stanley Cup. I repeat, NEVER!
            I miss TLR!

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by jhuegy View Post
              He'll do great, I'm his sponsor. Look what I did with Mulder!
              Start printing the WS tickets!!

              I was Kennedy's sponsor last year when he hit .219!!! I did kick his ass to the curb around the ASB, though. Showed him who was boss.
              --Official Lounge Sponsor of Coach Mike Anderson, Colby Rasmus, and Pearl Jam.
              --Suck it cubbies.
              --Thanks to RBB for my kick ace avatar!!** --RETIRE #51!!!

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by F the Cubs View Post
                Start printing the WS tickets!!

                I was Kennedy's sponsor last year when he hit .219!!! I did kick his ass to the curb around the ASB, though. Showed him who was boss.

                What's ASB? You still drinking? I assume that's ASG.
                RIP Stan the Man
                The StL Blues will NEVER win the Stanley Cup. I repeat, NEVER!
                I miss TLR!

                Comment


                • #9
                  All-Star Break, genius

                  "Can't buy what I want because it's free...
                  Can't buy what I want because it's free..."
                  -- Pearl Jam, from the single Corduroy

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by 007 View Post
                    All-Star Break, genius
                    I don't want to get old.
                    --Official Lounge Sponsor of Coach Mike Anderson, Colby Rasmus, and Pearl Jam.
                    --Suck it cubbies.
                    --Thanks to RBB for my kick ace avatar!!** --RETIRE #51!!!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Also, he and CG will hook up and become lovers.
                      you're wasted all right.
                      Sometimes elections have positive consequences!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Good stuff -

                        You know I'm buying -

                        However - you did leave out pitching.
                        Turning the other cheek is better than burying the other body.

                        Official Sport Lounge Sponsor of Rhode Island - Quincy Jones - Yadier Molina who knows no fear.
                        God is stronger and the problem knows it.

                        2017 BOTB bracket

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                        • #13
                          ’08 is the year Yadi wins the Gold Glove.


                          Damn straight! That's cos I'm sponsoring him.
                          Former Sponsor of Kyle "The Comeback Kid" Lohse.

                          And Current (and former) Lounge Sponsor of Yadier "No-Glove til I get a Gold Glove" Molina and one BAMF

                          Sponsoring Friends and Proud Co-Sponsor of Captain Morgan

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by cardinalgirl View Post
                            you're wasted all right.
                            I appreciate you reading every word of my post. I tried to sneak that past you. I have often seen into the future after a six pack, though. I'm just giving you a heads-up.
                            --Official Lounge Sponsor of Coach Mike Anderson, Colby Rasmus, and Pearl Jam.
                            --Suck it cubbies.
                            --Thanks to RBB for my kick ace avatar!!** --RETIRE #51!!!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Schwahalala View Post
                              Good stuff -

                              You know I'm buying -

                              However - you did leave out pitching.
                              I didn't want to be too hungover today.
                              --Official Lounge Sponsor of Coach Mike Anderson, Colby Rasmus, and Pearl Jam.
                              --Suck it cubbies.
                              --Thanks to RBB for my kick ace avatar!!** --RETIRE #51!!!

                              Comment

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