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Serious topic for the masses:
Do I have the right to get mad as fuck if I discover my best friend of 25 years is sleeping with a past girlfriend of 6 years?
The guy in question has always known of my love and affection for this woman, and she, through my acquaintance, has known him and remained close friends (despite our no longer being involved) for the past 16 years. Each has always referred to the other as "like a sister/like a brother."
Skipping ahead, she and I reconnected last April, and recently reconnected in an intimate manner. I kept this information from my friend, only saying that I didn't feel it was our best interest for fear of ruining our long-standing friendship. He urged me to reconsider, I resisted, as far as he was concerned. I'm private in my affairs, and despite being my boy for so long, I didn't feel it was anyone's business but hers and mine.
However, he recently made remarks to me indicating he had a crush on her (although I've always believed he has)...to which I didn't react. She, for her part has always maintained the two could never be involved because of the way she has witnessed him treat woman with such disrespect. Additionally she is going through a difficult separation from her husband. Over the years he has always confided in her his personal affairs, and she has always done the same, so their bond is deep. But I received word last week, that each has confirmed after I confronted them, that they are indeed doing each other and together...having recently returned from vacation with one another.
She says: she is following her heart (since she can't have me with her impending divorce.)
He says: it just happened.
Each says: it is not about me and I should basically butt out.
I immediately, in separately pointed and heated conversations, told each to lose my number and that our friendship is kaput.
As far as I'm concerned, each fucked up royally: Her for allowing it...him for making advancements and not saying no when the opportunity presented itself.
So, here's the question, guys:
Did I overreact -- and does the man's/friendship code of staying away from your best friends exes still apply?
Do I have the right to get mad as fuck if I discover my best friend of 25 years is sleeping with a past girlfriend of 6 years?
The guy in question has always known of my love and affection for this woman, and she, through my acquaintance, has known him and remained close friends (despite our no longer being involved) for the past 16 years. Each has always referred to the other as "like a sister/like a brother."
Skipping ahead, she and I reconnected last April, and recently reconnected in an intimate manner. I kept this information from my friend, only saying that I didn't feel it was our best interest for fear of ruining our long-standing friendship. He urged me to reconsider, I resisted, as far as he was concerned. I'm private in my affairs, and despite being my boy for so long, I didn't feel it was anyone's business but hers and mine.
However, he recently made remarks to me indicating he had a crush on her (although I've always believed he has)...to which I didn't react. She, for her part has always maintained the two could never be involved because of the way she has witnessed him treat woman with such disrespect. Additionally she is going through a difficult separation from her husband. Over the years he has always confided in her his personal affairs, and she has always done the same, so their bond is deep. But I received word last week, that each has confirmed after I confronted them, that they are indeed doing each other and together...having recently returned from vacation with one another.
She says: she is following her heart (since she can't have me with her impending divorce.)
He says: it just happened.
Each says: it is not about me and I should basically butt out.
I immediately, in separately pointed and heated conversations, told each to lose my number and that our friendship is kaput.
As far as I'm concerned, each fucked up royally: Her for allowing it...him for making advancements and not saying no when the opportunity presented itself.
So, here's the question, guys:
Did I overreact -- and does the man's/friendship code of staying away from your best friends exes still apply?
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