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Life in Bush's alternate universe

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  • Life in Bush's alternate universe

    Everyone's favorite liberal, Maureen Dowd.

    ***
    It's their reality. We just live and die in it.

    In Bushworld, our troops go to war and get killed, but you never see the bodies coming home.

    In Bushworld, flag-draped remains of the fallen are important to revere and show the nation, but only in political ads hawking the president's leadership against terror.

    In Bushworld, we can create an exciting Iraqi democracy as long as it doesn't control its own military, pass any laws or have any power.

    In Bushworld, we can win over Falluja by bulldozing it.

    In Bushworld, it was worth going to war so Iraqis can express their feelings ("Down With America!") without having their tongues cut out, although we cannot yet allow them to express intemperate feelings in newspapers ("Down With America!") without shutting them down.

    In Bushworld, it's fine to take $700 million that Congress provided for the war in Afghanistan and 9/11 recovery and divert it to the war in Iraq that you're insisting you're not planning.

    In Bushworld, you don't consult your father, the expert in being president during a war with Iraq, but you do talk to your Higher Father, who can't talk back to warn you to get an exit strategy or chide you for using Him for political purposes.

    In Bushworld, it's O.K. to run for re-election as the avenger of 9/11, even as you make secret deals with the Arab kingdom where most of the 9/11 hijackers came from.

    In Bushworld, you get to strut around like a tough military guy and paint your rival as a chicken hawk, even though he's the one who won medals in combat and was praised by his superior officers for fulfilling all his obligations.

    In Bushworld, it makes sense to press for transparency in Mr. and Mrs. Rival while cultivating your own opacity.

    In Bushworld, you can reign as the antiterror president even after hearing an intelligence report about Al Qaeda's plans to attack America and then stepping outside to clear brush.

    In Bushworld, those who dissemble about the troops and money it will take to get Iraq on its feet are patriots, while those who are honest are patronizingly marginalized.

    In Bushworld, they struggle to keep church and state separate in Iraq, even as they increasingly merge the two in America.

    In Bushworld, you can claim to be the environmental president on Earth Day while being the industry president every other day.

    In Bushworld, you brag about how well Afghanistan is going, even though soldiers like Pat Tillman are still dying and the Taliban are running freely around the border areas, hiding Osama and delaying elections.

    In Bushworld, imperfect intelligence is good enough to knock over Iraq. But even better evidence that North Korea is building the weapons that Saddam could only dream about is hidden away.

    In Bushworld, the C.I.A. says it can't find out whether there are W.M.D. in Iraq unless we invade on the grounds that there are W.M.D.

    In Bushworld, there's no irony that so many who did so much to avoid the Vietnam draft have now strained the military so much that lawmakers are talking about bringing back the draft.

    In Bushworld, we're making progress in the war on terror by fighting a war that creates terrorists.

    In Bushworld, you don't need to bother asking your vice president and top Defense Department officials whether you should go to war in Iraq, because they've already maneuvered you into going to war.

    In Bushworld, it's perfectly natural for the president and vice president to appear before the 9/11 commission like the Olsen twins.

    In Bushworld, you expound on remaking the Middle East and spreading pro-American sentiments even as you expand anti-American sentiments by ineptly occupying Iraq and unstintingly backing Ariel Sharon on West Bank settlements.

    In Bushworld, we went to war to give Iraq a democratic process, yet we disdain the democratic process that causes allies to pull out troops.

    In Bushworld, you pride yourself on the fact that your administration does not leak to the press, while you flood the best-known journalist in Washington with inside information.

    In Bushworld, you list Bob Woodward's "Plan of Attack" as recommended reading on your campaign Web site, even though it makes you seem divorced from reality. That is, unless you live in Bushworld.
    ***
    Dude. Can. Fly.

  • #2
    I swear to God I wouldn't ask MD what time it was and be able to listen to the answer. She's the only one who annoys me just as much as Anna Quindlen.

    Comment


    • #3
      well done
      Are you on the list?

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Reggie Cleveland@Apr 25 2004, 09:53 AM
        I swear to God I wouldn't ask MD what time it was and be able to listen to the answer. She's the only one who annoys me just as much as Anna Quindlen.
        the truth SUCKS, doesnt it Reggie?

        Now back to your regularly scheduled dreamland Republican world...
        “I’ve always stated, ‘I’m a Missouri Tiger,’” Anderson said March 13 after Arkansas fired John Pelphrey, adding, “I’m excited about what’s taking place here.”

        Asked then if he would talk to his players about the situation, he said, “They know me, and that’s where the trust comes in.

        Comment


        • #5
          "In Bushworld, our troops go to war and get killed, but you never see the bodies coming home."

          Come on Dvyyyy,

          You typically have very valid complaints against Bush and his policy.

          This is ridiculous.

          This has nothing to do with Bush policy. And, if you assume that it does, you would have to be critical of Clinton too.

          Point your finger at the Pentagon.
          Jimmy Buffett quote of the week:

          "Open season on the open seas and Captain says no prisoners please. Skull and crossbones on a background of black. We ain't stealin' we're just takin' back ."


          - Jimmy Buffett, Take it Back, Boats, Beaches, Bars and Ballads Box Set

          "Now, she should be good-looking, but we're willing to trade looks for a certain... morally casual attitude."

          -

          Comment


          • #6
            Razzy. It's Sunday. They're plotting RIGHT NOW.

            Run. Hide. Collect canned goods.

            Comment


            • #7
              Razzy,

              Trust me, I hate to say this, but you are turning into Triggyboy.
              Jimmy Buffett quote of the week:

              "Open season on the open seas and Captain says no prisoners please. Skull and crossbones on a background of black. We ain't stealin' we're just takin' back ."


              - Jimmy Buffett, Take it Back, Boats, Beaches, Bars and Ballads Box Set

              "Now, she should be good-looking, but we're willing to trade looks for a certain... morally casual attitude."

              -

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Reggie Cleveland@Apr 25 2004, 09:53 AM
                I swear to God I wouldn't ask MD what time it was and be able to listen to the answer. She's the only one who annoys me just as much as Anna Quindlen.
                Then this probably guarantees that you will never see another MD article copied here in the lounge.

                Bond
                Can we just pin now the MD article of the week thread?
                Sponsor of Alex Pieterangelo.

                ..."I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered." George Best

                Comment


                • #9
                  Great post, all of it TRUE.
                  Be passionate about what you believe in, or why bother.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by madyaks@Apr 25 2004, 10:07 AM
                    Great post, all of it TRUE.
                    Yep

                    And Clinton supported the same policy.

                    Hypocrites.
                    Jimmy Buffett quote of the week:

                    "Open season on the open seas and Captain says no prisoners please. Skull and crossbones on a background of black. We ain't stealin' we're just takin' back ."


                    - Jimmy Buffett, Take it Back, Boats, Beaches, Bars and Ballads Box Set

                    "Now, she should be good-looking, but we're willing to trade looks for a certain... morally casual attitude."

                    -

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by ScottStevens+Apr 25 2004, 11:08 AM-->
                      QUOTE (ScottStevens @ Apr 25 2004, 11:08 AM)

                    • #12
                      Originally posted by madyaks+Apr 25 2004, 10:09 AM-->
                      QUOTE (madyaks @ Apr 25 2004, 10:09 AM)
                      Originally posted by [email protected] 25 2004, 11:08 AM

                    • #13
                      Originally posted by ScottStevens+Apr 25 2004, 10:08 AM-->
                      QUOTE (ScottStevens @ Apr 25 2004, 10:08 AM)

                    • #14
                      They are hanging their hats on not letting us see the bodies coming home.

                      Not the rest of the stuff.
                      Be passionate about what you believe in, or why bother.

                      Comment


                      • #15
                        Originally posted by SLUBLUE+Apr 25 2004, 10:22 AM-->
                        QUOTE (SLUBLUE @ Apr 25 2004, 10:22 AM)
                        Originally posted by [email protected] 25 2004, 10:08 AM
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