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    Code:
    Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding 
    God's Law. I Have learned a great deal from you, and I 
    try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. 
    When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, 
    for example, I simply remind him that Leviticus 18:22 
    clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.
    
    I do need some advice from you, however, regarding 
    some of the specific laws and how to best follow them.
    
    a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I 
    know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev.1:9). 
    The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not 
    pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
    
    b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as 
    sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do 
    you think would be a fair price for her?
    
    c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman 
    while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness 
    (Lev. 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have 
    tried asking, but most women take offense.
    
    d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, 
    both male and female, provided they are purchased from 
    neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this 
    applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? 
    Why can't I own Canadians?
    
    e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the 
    Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put 
    to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?
    
    f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating 
    shellfish is an Abomination (Lev. 11:10), it is a 
    lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. 
    Can you settle this?
    
    g) Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar 
    of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit 
    that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 
    20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?
    
    h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, 
    including the hair around their temples, even though 
    this is expressly forbidden by Lev.19:27. How should 
    they die?
    
    i) I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a 
    dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football 
    if I wear gloves?
    
    j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by 
    planting two different crops in the same field, as 
    does his wife by wearing garments made of two different 
    kinds of thread. (cotton/polyester blend) He also tends 
    to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary 
    that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town 
    together to stone them? (Lev.24:10-16) Couldn't we just 
    burn them to death at a private family affair like we 
    do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev.20:14)
    
    I know you have studied these things extensively, so 
    I am confident you can help.
    
    Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is 
    eternal and unchanging.

  • #2
    . . . and to tell you this: I work with gays, have friends who are gay, go to church with gays. Most of them are aware that I believe that homosexual behavior is sin. Some of them actually agree. Most don't. It's OK . . . because they also know or at least have been made aware of my multitude of sins: adulterous heart, lustful and covetous behavior, wicked pride, angry spirit . . . do I need to go on?
    -mike
    mike smith, post-dispatch online sports editor

    Comment


    • #3


      I love it.

      Comment


      • #4
        Pretty funny stuff, no doubt.

        But, it is "old testament".
        Make America Great For Once.

        Comment


        • #5
          old testament - new testament .... the origins of flip-flopping? :o
          Damn these electric sex pants!

          26+31+34+42+44+46+64+67+82+06 = 10

          Bring back the death penalty for corporations!

          Comment


          • #6
            Jesus rejected most of these laws. They are all null and void to christians..

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by thetorch@Apr 7 2004, 08:46 PM
              Jesus rejected most of these laws. They are all null and void to christians..
              except when they need to revert to some "homosexuality is bad" or "eye-for-an-eye" bullshit...then the old testament still counts...except for all the parts with words too large for them to understand...
              . . . and to tell you this: I work with gays, have friends who are gay, go to church with gays. Most of them are aware that I believe that homosexual behavior is sin. Some of them actually agree. Most don't. It's OK . . . because they also know or at least have been made aware of my multitude of sins: adulterous heart, lustful and covetous behavior, wicked pride, angry spirit . . . do I need to go on?
              -mike
              mike smith, post-dispatch online sports editor

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by thetorch@Apr 7 2004, 09:46 PM
                Jesus rejected most of these laws. They are all null and void to christians..
                Torch gets one right! There may be hope for him after all.
                Go Cards ...12 in 13.


                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by OldSchoolStroker+Apr 7 2004, 10:28 PM-->
                  QUOTE (OldSchoolStroker @ Apr 7 2004, 10:28 PM)

                • #10
                  The bible might as well have been written by Dr. Suess.......simply stated. Let it help those who need it and don't bash it for their sake.
                  I always tell the truth. Even when I lie.

                  Comment


                  • #11
                    Originally posted by psychlops@Apr 7 2004, 10:22 PM
                    The bible might as well have been written by Dr. Suess.......simply stated. Let it help those who need it and don't bash it for their sake.
                    psychlops-

                    I don't see that as optional when people want to dictate legislation and foriegn policy according to their magical book...
                    . . . and to tell you this: I work with gays, have friends who are gay, go to church with gays. Most of them are aware that I believe that homosexual behavior is sin. Some of them actually agree. Most don't. It's OK . . . because they also know or at least have been made aware of my multitude of sins: adulterous heart, lustful and covetous behavior, wicked pride, angry spirit . . . do I need to go on?
                    -mike
                    mike smith, post-dispatch online sports editor

                    Comment


                    • #12
                      Originally posted by OldSchoolStroker+Apr 7 2004, 10:26 PM-->
                      QUOTE (OldSchoolStroker @ Apr 7 2004, 10:26 PM)

                    • #13
                      Did Asscroft send these rules out in a memo or something?

                      Comment


                      • #14
                        Great post.
                        Be passionate about what you believe in, or why bother.

                        Comment


                        • #15
                          a) Yes, smite them. What do they know about odor, they probably don't wash themselves.

                          b- It depends on how attractive she is. Probably not very, big nose, etc. So Keep your price moderate.

                          c) Why would you want to during their "time" anyway?

                          d) Canadians are too irritating, don't bother.

                          e) Yes, kill him dead in his home.

                          f) Unless you're eating gay clams, I don't think there's much difference.

                          g) You can get laser surgury to correct your problem.

                          h) Scissors in the neck I think would be just.

                          i) Yes

                          j) You would also be saving resources that way, which is also good in God's eye.

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