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Me and the Juice

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  • Me and the Juice

    I've been a Lounge lurker since the Pressbox days, but don't really post all that much. Someone brought up OJ Simpson in another thread and it came to my attention that I've never told my OJ story here. To me, it's pretty bizarre and almost unbelievable. I can understand if you don't believe me.

    Anyway, I moved to Miami from the Normal, IL two and a half years ago to go to law school. I'm obviously a Rams fan and my wife's a Packers fan. We can't go a week without watching our teams, so we go to a sports bar every weekend.

    Opening Sunday, two years ago, we found a decent sports bar in SW Miami/Kendall area. Big place with lots of tv's. We get there about 15 minutes before game time and stake out our table. About 10 minutes later, a big black guy that looks just like OJ Simpson walks in with a couple of other guys and sits right next to me. I'm thinking, ok, I know he lives in Miami, but that can't be him. Anyway, after about 2 minutes it was clear to me that he is OJ. People are coming up for autographs and patting him on the back. He's loving the attention. I happen to not care for murderers, so my wife and I pretend like we don't know him. He's drawn to that--oh, also I think it's because my wife looks like Nicole Brown, with blond hair and nice legs and a Brett Favre number 4 jersey.

    So, midway through the game he starts watching the Rams game and making comments to me about this or that. Later, he tells my wife about friends he has on the Packers. He talks about how Mike Holmgren was the backup QB on his USC team, blah, blah, blah. The guy is drawn to us and really won't stop talking. We merely respond politely to his conversation, but don't want to get too chummy. After the game, we leave and are just amazed at what had just happened.

    So, the next week we go back to watch our games and guess who perches right next to us. This time, he formally introduces himself and asks us our names. If he hadn't killed those people, you would think he's the most friendly, congenial guy you've ever met. He's sitting there drinking bloody marys, talking about golfing and his kids. He just latches on to us. For the next few weeks this just keeps happening. Toward the end of the season, we've become very used to talking to him during football Sundays. As we are about to leave a game late in the season, he invites us to his home for a party for the playoffs the following week. We say, thanks, but no thanks. He's like--"OK, well if you change your mind, here's my phone number."

    I believe it was a couple of months later that he got into trouble for the Direct TV stuff. Last season, we went to the same bar and he came a couple of times. It was far less frequent. This year, we went to the first few games and he has not been there. We've since started going to a new bar. Anyway, it just seems so surreal sometimes.

  • #2
    Not difficult to explain...

    He wanted to DHITB.


    • #3
      The solution: Give all your money to charity.
      The things that will destroy America are prosperity-at-any-price, peace-at-any-price, safety-first instead of duty-first, the love of soft living, and the get-rich-quick theory of life. -TR


      Madyaks2 Thought Of The Day: I'm just as dumb as madyaks1.


      • #4
        QUOTE(lasvegasreb @ Oct 19 2005, 09:31 AM) Quoted post

        The solution: Give all your money to charity.
        You really have difficulty moving on, don't you?


        • #5
          Forget juice, please, tell us more about your wife that looks like Nicole Brown, with blond hair and nice legs. [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif[/img]
          RIP Stan the Man
          The StL Blues will NEVER win the Stanley Cup. I repeat, NEVER!
          I miss TLR!


          • #6
            You should have ripped him a new one for his horrible acting in the Naked Gun movies.

            I'm sure he'd let you borrow his knife.


            • #7
              He's a classic sociopath.
              The Dude abides.


              • #8
                DIG UP HIS PHONE NUMBER AND POST IT!!!!!


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                • #9
                  Can we have the Lounge Christmas party at the Juice's house?



                  • #10
                    probably a good call not going to his "party"

                    That is IF you value your "life"
                    Official Lounge Sponsor of:
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                    • #11
                      I believe you.

                      If you were lying, you wouldn't have picked OJ Simpson [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif[/img]
                      Damn these electric sex pants!

                      26+31+34+42+44+46+64+67+82+06 = 10

                      Bring back the death penalty for corporations!


                      • #12
                        Was he still hunting for the real killers?
                        Dude. Can. Fly.


                        • #13
                          QUOTE(dvyyyyyy @ Oct 19 2005, 12:47 PM) Quoted post

                          Was he still hunting for the real killers?
                          No b/c he'd be on the golf course doing that....he was taking a break

                          "Can't buy what I want because it's free...
                          Can't buy what I want because it's free..."
                          -- Pearl Jam, from the single Corduroy


                          • #14
                            QUOTE(jhuegy @ Oct 19 2005, 10:35 AM) Quoted post
                            Forget juice, please, tell us more about your wife that looks like Nicole Brown, with blond hair and nice legs. [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif[/img] [/b][/quote]

                            That's what I was thinking... This thread is worthless without pics!!

                            (He probably wanted to slip you guys some ecstasy and get freaky!!)

                            Official Lounge sponsor of Chris Pronger & Alex Pietrangelo


                            • #15
                              QUOTE(jhuegy @ Oct 19 2005, 11:35 AM) Quoted post

                              Forget juice, please, tell us more about your wife that looks like Nicole Brown, with blond hair and nice legs. [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif[/img]

                              "tell us" ?

                              screw that.

                              Miami - take a pic of your wife with the jersey sans anything else and post it here!!!!