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Wifey just bought me ticket to go skydiving

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  • Wifey just bought me ticket to go skydiving

    For my birfday, I'll be thirty-five. I expressed interest in going maybe eight years ago..so he waits untill I'm thirty-five and have a new kid. I'm having mixed feelings about this. Partly my fear of heights and my preference to keep myself three-dimensional....partly my fear of being strapped ass-first to some gung-ho adrenaline junkie (it will be a tandem jump). However, it would be quite a thrill and will make for a good study in adult male incontenence in free-fall situations. It just occured to me that I executed a half-million dollar life insurance policy about six months ago.

  • #2
    QUOTE(Hepatitis Dispenser @ Oct 5 2005, 05:54 PM) Quoted post

    For my birfday, I'll be thirty-five. I expressed interest in going maybe eight years ago..so he waits untill I'm thirty-five and have a new kid. I'm having mixed feelings about this. Partly my fear of heights and my preference to keep myself three-dimensional....partly my fear of being strapped ass-first to some gung-ho adrenaline junkie (it will be a tandem jump). However, it would be quite a thrill and will make for a good study in adult male incontenence in free-fall situations. It just occured to me that I executed a half-million dollar life insurance policy about six months ago.
    [/b][/quote]

    the plot thickens

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    • #3
      It'll be fun.

      Honest.

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      • #4
        You're screwed.

        I'd set up a webcam to make sure she's not entertaining while you're at work.

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        • #5
          Not to discourage you, but I have a co-worker who sky dives all of the time. She lives for it. About a month ago, she accidentally hit another diver in the air and her chute didn't open properly. She ended up hitting the ground very hard and severely breaking both legs and her arms got broken as well. Apparently she's not a sky diver anymore.
          *Syria becomes the 7th predominantly Muslim country bombed by 2009 Nobel Peace Laureate Barack Obama—after Afghanistan, Pakistan, Yemen, Somalia, Libya and Iraq

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          • #6
            as long as she wasnt the one to purchase the parachute, you should be fine [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/ph34r.gif[/img]
            Sponsor of Adam Wainwright
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            There are 24 teams in baseball with a longer World Series drought than the St. Louis Cardinals.
            "I told myself from the beginning, 'If he's going to throw a shutout, then he's going to tie,' ... he was not going to beat me today." ---Adam Wainwright, 8/11/10
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            • #7
              Go for it you p*ssy. And go for the p*ssy as well. Hopefully while you're freefalling.

              Try to arrange to have a hot air balloon below you. Have your wife in the basket, drinking champaigne. Land on top of the balloon, slide down the side, then use your parachute controls and a grappling hook to link onto the basket. Climb into the basket and let your instructor fall to his death. Thrill your wife, have great sex, throw the balloon pilot out of the basket, and live life dangerously for a change.

              That's what I'd do, anyways.
              Official sponsor of the baseball gods and other missalaneous stuff.

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              • #8
                QUOTE(justwundrin @ Oct 5 2005, 05:17 PM) Quoted post

                Go for it you p*ssy. And go for the p*ssy as well. Hopefully while you're freefalling.

                Try to arrange to have a hot air balloon below you. Have your wife in the basket, drinking champaigne. Land on top of the balloon, slide down the side, then use your parachute controls and a grappling hook to link onto the basket. Climb into the basket and let your instructor fall to his death. Thrill your wife, have great sex, throw the balloon pilot out of the basket, and live life dangerously for a change.

                That's what I'd do, anyways.
                [/b][/quote]
                Missing the step where I remove my adult undergarment and empty (by that point) the ample contents over the side of the basket.....sexy as that may be

                Also, I noticed that the balloon commander doesn't get jettisoned untill after I have sex with wifey. What is he doing during this (12 second) interval...."helping" or standing idly by?

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                • #9
                  QUOTE(Hepatitis Dispenser @ Oct 5 2005, 06:25 PM) Quoted post

                  QUOTE(justwundrin @ Oct 5 2005, 05:17 PM) Quoted post

                  Go for it you p*ssy. And go for the p*ssy as well. Hopefully while you're freefalling.

                  Try to arrange to have a hot air balloon below you. Have your wife in the basket, drinking champaigne. Land on top of the balloon, slide down the side, then use your parachute controls and a grappling hook to link onto the basket. Climb into the basket and let your instructor fall to his death. Thrill your wife, have great sex, throw the balloon pilot out of the basket, and live life dangerously for a change.

                  That's what I'd do, anyways.
                  [/b][/quote]
                  Missing the step where I remove my adult undergarment and empty (by that point) the ample contents over the side of the basket.....sexy as that may be

                  Also, I noticed that the balloon commander doesn't get jettisoned untill after I have sex with wifey. What is he doing during this (12 second) interval...."helping" or standing idly by?
                  [/b][/quote]
                  Ya know, some things you just gotta play by ear. And speaking of ears, why not use an earlobe for a good old solid gator clamp, huh? Just go for it.

                  As for the balloon pilot, well, you could wrest s/he from the situation at any time, I guess. I was just thinking that the pilot might be in a situation to take some great pics before things happened.

                  But it would be your choice. Just make sure you are dressed appropriately.
                  Official sponsor of the baseball gods and other missalaneous stuff.

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                  • #10
                    Your screwed...trade the tix in and get a new lawn sprinkler

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                    • #11
                      Go for it.

                      My brother went a few months ago and former co-worker used to go every weekend. I hear its a major adreneline rush. My understanding is that if your a newbie you won't actually be opening the chute yourself but rather your expert jump partner will.

                      You accept risk every time you get in your car. You are probably safer jumping out of the plane than going to work every day.
                      Go Cards ...12 in 13.


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                      • #12
                        QUOTE(TTB @ Oct 5 2005, 07:14 PM) Quoted post

                        You are probably safer jumping out of the plane than going to work every day.
                        [/b][/quote]

                        Actually, you're correct. I just did some research. Here's what I found:

                        Statistically, parachuting is a relatively safe sport. However, if inexperience and pushing the envelope too far come into the picture, then anything from minor mishaps to life-threatening situations can occur.

                        About 30 people die annually in parachuting accidents in the United States, or roughly one person per 100,000 jumps. According to U.S. Parachute Association (USPA) statistics, 1998 was the worst year on record for U.S. skydiving fatalities, with 44. The numbers in subsequent years were as follows: 1999 – 27, 2000 – 32, 2001 – 35, 2002 – 33, 2003 – 25, 2004 – 23.

                        To put those numbers in perspective, consider that roughly 40,000 people die each year in traffic accidents in the United States. That’s 1.7 deaths per 100 million vehicle miles. Therefore, if you drive 10,000 miles a year, your chance of dying in a car crash is something like 1 in 6,000. You would have to jump 17 times per year for your risk of dying in a skydiving incident to equal your risk of dying in a car wreck if you drive 10,000 miles a year.
                        *Syria becomes the 7th predominantly Muslim country bombed by 2009 Nobel Peace Laureate Barack Obama—after Afghanistan, Pakistan, Yemen, Somalia, Libya and Iraq

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                        • #13
                          Be sure to make the jump enjoyable for your instructor. Wipe really good before you go.

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                          • #14




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                            • #15
                              QUOTE
                              Statistically, parachuting is a relatively safe sport.[/b][/quote]

                              True. At least until they're hosing down your remains from the concrete with a power washer.

                              Seriously, this is where black and white folks differ; you actively and voluntarily court death. We're willing to wait near a questionable corner for a drive-by gone awry.

                              On a much more serious note, Hep, interesting your wife would encourage this, especially with the new nino. Most men I know are quick to give up hobbies they've loved for years (motorcycling, bungee jumping, drag racing, drugs, mistresses) for fear of a mishap and never seeing their child again.

                              But to each his own. Have fun...but most of all be safe, pardner. [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/thumbsup.gif[/img]
                              "Let me lay it right on the line. Bigotry and racism are among the deadliest social ills plaguing the world today. The only way to destroy them is to expose them. If man is ever to be worthy of his destiny, we must fill our hearts with tolerance.- Stan Lee (circa 1968)

                              "Compete less with the person in front of you than the person inside of you." - Anonymous

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