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  • New Dubya joke

    Donald Rumsfeld and his aides are giving Bush his daily briefing on
    Iraq. He informs the President: "You should know that three Brazilian
    soldiers were killed yesterday."

    The President turns white, and slumps into his chair, looking shaken.
    "Dear God," he says, lapsing into silence.

    His staff exchanges puzzled and concerned glances, as Bush has never
    displayed such a reaction to casualty news before. They nervously
    watch the President, who sits, head in hands.

    Finally, the President looks up and asks, "OK, tell me again, how many
    are there in a brazillion?"
    Dude. Can. Fly.

  • #2
    Ahh. A Blonde joke replaced with the Dub. Hellarious.

    Comment


    • #3
      Q: What's the President's position on Roe v. Wade?

      A: He doesn't care how people get out of New Orleans.
      I like cheese.

      Comment


      • #4
        QUOTE(dvyyyyyy @ Sep 29 2005, 04:52 PM) Quoted post

        Donald Rumsfeld and his aides are giving Bush his daily briefing on
        Iraq. He informs the President: "You should know that three Brazilian
        soldiers were killed yesterday."

        The President turns white, and slumps into his chair, looking shaken.
        "Dear God," he says, lapsing into silence.

        His staff exchanges puzzled and concerned glances, as Bush has never
        displayed such a reaction to casualty news before. They nervously
        watch the President, who sits, head in hands.

        Finally, the President looks up and asks, "OK, tell me again, how many
        are there in a brazillion?"

        [/b][/quote]

        well played.
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        The New Orleans Saints, Blue Moon Belgian Ale, Peter Gammons, and Cardinals GM John Mozeliak

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        • #5
          Dude that is fucking great!!
          Be passionate about what you believe in, or why bother.

          Comment


          • #6
            This test only has one question, but it's a very important one. By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally.
            The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which you will have to make a decision. Remember that your answer needs to be honest, yet spontaneous. Please scroll down slowly and give due consideration to each line.



            You are in Florida; Miami to be specific.


            There is chaos all around you caused by a hurricane with severe flooding.


            This is a flood of biblical proportions. You are a photojournalist
            working for a major newspaper and you're caught in the middle of this
            epic disaster.


            The situation is nearly hopeless.


            You're trying to shoot career-making photos.


            There are houses and people swirling around you, some disappearing
            under the water.


            Nature is unleashing all of its destructive fury.


            Suddenly you see a man floundering in the water.


            He is fighting for his life, trying not to be taken down with the
            debris.


            You move closer. Somehow the man looks familiar.


            You suddenly realize who it is. It's George W. Bush!


            At the same time you notice that the raging waters are about to take
            him under... forever.


            You have two options – you can save the life of G.W. Bush or you can
            shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize winning photo, documenting the death of
            one of the world's most powerful men.


            So here's the question, and please give an honest answer:



            Would you select high contrast color film, or would you go with the
            classic simplicity of black and white?=


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            Comment


            • #7
              QUOTE(Prngr44 @ Sep 29 2005, 07:36 PM) Quoted post

              This test only has one question, but it's a very important one. By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally.
              The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which you will have to make a decision. Remember that your answer needs to be honest, yet spontaneous. Please scroll down slowly and give due consideration to each line.



              You are in Florida; Miami to be specific.


              There is chaos all around you caused by a hurricane with severe flooding.


              This is a flood of biblical proportions. You are a photojournalist
              working for a major newspaper and you're caught in the middle of this
              epic disaster.


              The situation is nearly hopeless.


              You're trying to shoot career-making photos.


              There are houses and people swirling around you, some disappearing
              under the water.


              Nature is unleashing all of its destructive fury.


              Suddenly you see a man floundering in the water.


              He is fighting for his life, trying not to be taken down with the
              debris.


              You move closer. Somehow the man looks familiar.


              You suddenly realize who it is. It's George W. Bush!


              At the same time you notice that the raging waters are about to take
              him under... forever.


              You have two options – you can save the life of G.W. Bush or you can
              shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize winning photo, documenting the death of
              one of the world's most powerful men.


              So here's the question, and please give an honest answer:



              Would you select high contrast color film, or would you go with the
              classic simplicity of black and white?=
              [/b][/quote]
              Dupe.

              b&

              Comment


              • #8
                Dear Abby,

                My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the beginning and when I confront him, he denies everything. What's worse, everyone knows he cheats on me. It is so humiliating. Also, since he lost his job four years ago he hasn't even looked for a new one. All he does is buy cigars and cruise around and bullshit with his pals, while I have to work to pay the bills. Since our daughter went away to college he doesn't even pretend to like me and hints that I am a lesbian.

                What should I do?

                Signed, Clueless




                Dear Clueless,

                Grow up and dump him. For Pete's sake, you don't need him anymore. You're a United States Senator from New York, act like it!
                Official Lounge Sponsor of Kentucky - The Bluegrass State
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                NOW Sponsoring St. Louis Cardinals #3 Abraham Nunez
                LET'S GO CARDINALS!!!!! \"IPB

                "From there to here, from here to there, funny things are everywhere..."

                formerly aka Lois Lane - Going back to my hillbilly roots!

                Comment


                • #9
                  Even in a joke thread they gotta bring up Clinton....


                  LOL
                  Be passionate about what you believe in, or why bother.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Bumper Stickers for the GOP, 2004 --

                    1 Bush/Cheney '04: Four More Wars!

                    2 Bush/Cheney '04: Apocalypse Now!

                    3 Bush/Cheney '04: Because the truth just isn't good enough.

                    4 Bush/Cheney '04: Compassionate Colonialism

                    5 Bush/Cheney '04: Leave no billionaire behind

                    6 Bush/Cheney '04: Over a billion whoppers served.

                    7 Bush/Cheney '04: Putting the "con" in conservatism.

                    8 Bush/Cheney '04: Thanks for not paying attention.

                    9 Bush/Cheney '04: The last vote you'll ever have to cast.

                    10 Bush/Cheney '04: This time, elect us!

                    11 Bush/Cheney '04: We're Gooder!

                    12 Bush/Cheney: Asses of Evil

                    13 George W. Bush: A brainwave away from the presidency

                    14 Vote Bush in '04: "I Has Incumbentory Advantitude"
                    Official Lounge Sponsor of Kentucky - The Bluegrass State
                    Proud Sponsor of Kirkwood Athletic Associations's Gameface #5 DK
                    Official Sponsor of the Lounge Badgers #13 Guppy
                    Official Lounge Sponsor of the Rams # 81 Torry Holt
                    NOW Sponsoring St. Louis Cardinals #3 Abraham Nunez
                    LET'S GO CARDINALS!!!!! \"IPB

                    "From there to here, from here to there, funny things are everywhere..."

                    formerly aka Lois Lane - Going back to my hillbilly roots!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      QUOTE(Lois Lane @ Sep 29 2005, 10:30 PM) Quoted post

                      Dear Abby,

                      My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the beginning and when I confront him, he denies everything. What's worse, everyone knows he cheats on me. It is so humiliating. Also, since he lost his job four years ago he hasn't even looked for a new one. All he does is buy cigars and cruise around and bullshit with his pals, while I have to work to pay the bills. Since our daughter went away to college he doesn't even pretend to like me and hints that I am a lesbian.

                      What should I do?

                      Signed, Clueless




                      Dear Clueless,

                      Grow up and dump him. For Pete's sake, you don't need him anymore. You're a United States Senator from New York, act like it!
                      [/b][/quote]

                      [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/unsure.gif[/img]

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        QUOTE(dvyyyyyy @ Sep 29 2005, 02:52 PM) Quoted post

                        Donald Rumsfeld and his aides are giving Bush his daily briefing on
                        Iraq. He informs the President: "You should know that three Brazilian
                        soldiers were killed yesterday."

                        The President turns white, and slumps into his chair, looking shaken.
                        "Dear God," he says, lapsing into silence.

                        His staff exchanges puzzled and concerned glances, as Bush has never
                        displayed such a reaction to casualty news before. They nervously
                        watch the President, who sits, head in hands.

                        Finally, the President looks up and asks, "OK, tell me again, how many
                        are there in a brazillion?"

                        [/b][/quote]


                        [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif[/img]

                        excellent
                        Un-Official Sponsor of Randy Choate and Kevin Siegrist

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          QUOTE
                          8 Bush/Cheney '04: Thanks for not paying attention.
                          [/b][/quote]

                          I like that. [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif[/img]
                          Dude. Can. Fly.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Instead of using their energy to poke fun of President Bush, maybe Democraps should pool their resources and create a strategy to win a phuckin election.... BRAHHHHHHHHHHH! [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tongue.gif[/img]
                            I'm here until I'm gone, then I'm somewhere else!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              QUOTE(StlJoe @ Oct 3 2005, 12:13 PM) Quoted post

                              Instead of using their energy to poke fun of President Bush, maybe Democraps should pool their resources and create a strategy to win a phuckin election.... BRAHHHHHHHHHHH! [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tongue.gif[/img]
                              [/b][/quote]
                              you're still here?

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                              Said the Quangle Wangle Quee

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