Why can't women understand the importance of sports

[Dr.Gonzo]

So I get into this big argument with my wife tonite. Terrible. Same argument we had about this time last year. My daughter wants to play club volleyball and we were going through a list of teams she wants to try out for. My wife is just walking around with this pissy look all night. WTF.

Finally I ask her about it, and she goes on this tirade. Why does she have to play club? What's the point? Why does it cost so much money? She'll have no time for school! She'll have no time for her friends! 2-3 practices a week! All day / weekend tournaments! That's not right...anyone who MAKES their kids do that is no better than parents that force their kids into beauty pagents! Why are you trying to relive your sports fantasies through her! You don't care what she wants!

Ok....so my wife is insane.

First, the girl wants to play. She freakin loves the sport and loves playing at the higher level that club provides. Both my wife and I have stressed to her a thousand times over the type of time it takes up. She played last year, so she knows and doesn't mind the cutback in social activities. She just wants to play volleyball. It has nothing to do with me. I've made sure of this.

Now, I tried to explain to her the benefits of a kid involved in activities like sports. Shown her studies. She just doesn't care and pretty much treats both the girl and me like shit about it.

This only has come up when it's time to play club ball. Not during CYC or other more recreation leagues. I don't get it.

I know that, growing up, her parents wouldn't let her or her sisters be involved in anything at all, so this may be foriegn to her. I try to understand that POV and explain how great it is for the kid, if it is what they want to do. I loved playing sports as a kid. From 5 years old on, I was playing baseball, soccer, basketball or football.

She just won't understand.

Anyone else run into this with their spouses/baby momma/daddy? It's driving me insane.

[Guppy]

my parents let me play sports all the time. From baseball to soccer to swim team (yes I wore a speedo). I wanted to do it and they never had a problem letting me do it. The only thing I ever tried to fight them off doing was Cotillion. I did not win and had to go take dance lessons

[Dr.Gonzo]

QUOTE(Guppy @ Sep 21 2005, 11:38 PM) Quoted post

my parents let me play sports all the time. From baseball to soccer to swim team (yes I wore a speedo). I wanted to do it and they never had a problem letting me do it. The only thing I ever tried to fight them off doing was Cotillion. I did not win and had to go take dance lessons [/b][/quote]

Yes we made her do Cotillion last year. Waste of time. But....she actually wanted to.

[Daisy Mae]

A lot of girls didn't play sports when they kids and I think it's harder for them to "get it".

[Nsane2Bme]

Don't get me started...I have vouged not to bitch about a certain someone since this court thing has finished.

[Dr.Gonzo]

QUOTE(Lois Lane @ Sep 21 2005, 11:43 PM) Quoted post

A lot of girls didn't play sports when they kids and I think it's harder for them to "get it". [/b][/quote]

Maybe....it's really only this club thing that gets her worked up. She's very encouraging about band, softball this summer, and rec league volleyball.

She just doesn't see the value in club sports for a kid that is dead set on being the best volleyball player she is able to be. Why should I deny her that? The kid started playing volleyball in 6th grade and by the next year was good enough to make a mid tier club team. She works her ass off year round to get better. She's still involved in band, and through 6th and 7th grade has maintained a 3.98GPA out of 4.0 possible.

[COACH REGGIE]

yeah...i was told numerous times to stop wasting time & money on bowling, and that I should work work work & work some more.

Now, bowling has paid for a large portion of college.

[Dr.Gonzo]

QUOTE(COACH REGGIE @ Sep 21 2005, 11:52 PM) Quoted post

yeah...i was told numerous times to stop wasting time & money on bowling, and that I should work work work & work some more.

Now, bowling has paid for a large portion of college. [/b][/quote]

Wait...

I thought Hanke said you were a shitty bowler? How does this help me??

[SunuvaNun]

QUOTE(Dr.Gonzo @ Sep 21 2005, 11:53 PM) Quoted post

QUOTE(COACH REGGIE @ Sep 21 2005, 11:52 PM) Quoted post

yeah...i was told numerous times to stop wasting time & money on bowling, and that I should work work work & work some more.

Now, bowling has paid for a large portion of college. [/b][/quote]

Wait...

I thought Hanke said you were a shitty bowler? How does this help me??
[/b][/quote]

Desperation is an ugly, ugly thing.

"Whaddya mean I hurt your feelings?"
"I didn't know you had any feelings"

[Indu WangZi]

Tough one, Gonzo.

I think one approach may be to have your daughter sit down with your wife and lay out the reasons why she wants to do this and why it is important for her. She may have laready done that, but I get the feeling from your post that your wife somehow thinks this is as much your idea as it is your daughters.

[Daisy Mae]

QUOTE(Dr.Gonzo @ Sep 21 2005, 11:51 PM) Quoted post

QUOTE(Lois Lane @ Sep 21 2005, 11:43 PM) Quoted post

A lot of girls didn't play sports when they kids and I think it's harder for them to "get it". [/b][/quote]

Maybe....it's really only this club thing that gets her worked up. She's very encouraging about band, softball this summer, and rec league volleyball.

She just doesn't see the value in club sports for a kid that is dead set on being the best volleyball player she is able to be. Why should I deny her that? The kid started playing volleyball in 6th grade and by the next year was good enough to make a mid tier club team. She works her ass off year round to get better. She's still involved in band, and through 6th and 7th grade has maintained a 3.98GPA out of 4.0 possible.
[/b][/quote]
Maybe she sees the club thing as being more competitive. By nature most women aren't that competitive so she may not see the value in it. Or maybe she thinks it's a waste of time because not too many women make a lot of money in pro sports.

Has she given you any reasons, other than the time committment, why she thinks it is bad for her?

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formerly aka Lois Lane - Going back to my hillbilly roots!

[bigJOE]

ok......so you're wife thinks you're making her play..........but your daughter wants to, so why would she be mad at your daughter for wanting to play? maybe remind her that this is the age kids really start experimenting with drinking/drugs (if they haven't already), and playing volleyball means she's not doing any of that.

[Dr.Gonzo]

QUOTE(Indu WangZi @ Sep 21 2005, 11:56 PM) Quoted post

Tough one, Gonzo.

I think one approach may be to have your daughter sit down with your wife and lay out the reasons why she wants to do this and why it is important for her. She may have laready done that, but I get the feeling from your post that your wife somehow thinks this is as much your idea as it is your daughters. [/b][/quote]

You're probably right there, to some degree. The kid has, on numerous occasions, talked to her about it, to no avail.

But on the other side of it, I have been really involved with her when it comes to sports. It's just natural, I suppose. I grew up with it as a huge part of my life, and my dad was always right there, so I wanted to be the same for my kid. I never pushed her into sports, but I do encourage the hell out of her with it. We go down to the gym every few weekends to play, or we sit out in the back yard passing the ball back and forth, or during softball, playing catch, going to the cages, etc. I don't push though. I always make sure it's what she wants. Play devil's advocate, etc. I'm very careful of this.

[Indu WangZi]

QUOTE(Dr.Gonzo @ Sep 21 2005, 11:00 PM) Quoted post

QUOTE(Indu WangZi @ Sep 21 2005, 11:56 PM) Quoted post

Tough one, Gonzo.

I think one approach may be to have your daughter sit down with your wife and lay out the reasons why she wants to do this and why it is important for her. She may have laready done that, but I get the feeling from your post that your wife somehow thinks this is as much your idea as it is your daughters. [/b][/quote]

You're probably right there, to some degree. The kid has, on numerous occasions, talked to her about it, to no avail.

But on the other side of it, I have been really involved with her when it comes to sports. It's just natural, I suppose. I grew up with it as a huge part of my life, and my dad was always right there, so I wanted to be the same for my kid. I never pushed her into sports, but I do encourage the hell out of her with it. We go down to the gym every few weekends to play, or we sit out in the back yard passing the ball back and forth, or during softball, playing catch, going to the cages, etc. I don't push though. I always make sure it's what she wants. Play devil's advocate, etc. I'm very careful of this.
[/b][/quote]
I must say, you sound like a great father. In this day and age, children need their parents support more than ever and you seem to be not only willing, but also happy to provide that.

Quality bloke you are, sir.

[Dr.Gonzo]

QUOTE(bigJOE @ Sep 21 2005, 11:59 PM) Quoted post

ok......so you're wife thinks you're making her play..........but your daughter wants to, so why would she be mad at your daughter for wanting to play? maybe remind her that this is the age kids really start experimenting with drinking/drugs (if they haven't already), and playing volleyball means she's not doing any of that. [/b][/quote]

oh yes...i've even shown her studies to prove that kids involved in sports and other extra curriculars are less likely to engage in stuff like that.

and lois, I really don't understand her problem with it. I think it's fininancial, time, and the 'pointlessness' of it all. We've proven last year that the time, while sometimes hectic, is manageable. I've offered to take side jobs to offset the costs, and I have done so. As for the other issue, how can one make another see that it's not pointless if it is what your kid wants to do?