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As many of you know my mother passed away in February 2004 after a long illness.
My father was her primary care giver for most of the years she was ill and took her passing very hard. He has been extremely lonely these past 19 months but recently has begun 'dating' a woman he met a couple months ago. Bear in mind he is in his 70s.
Due to his loneliness and the years of caring for my mother I'm delighted he is getting out more and has found someone's company he enjoys.
However...I have learned the woman is married, 18 years his junior and has a 14 year old son. I immediately objected to his seeing a married woman but he says she claims it s loveless marriage and she was going to leave him anyway. I've also told him that its not such a great idea that she has this son at home either. Her concerns should be focused on her son and not her own lovelife. But, as I get into that may very well be her motive.
Another wrinkle in this that my Dad is fairly well off. He's not rich per se but he will never have to worry about money again. The woman on the other is married to a former mechanic on disability and works in a retirement center. My Dad volunteers there a couple days a week and that is how they met.
I told him flat out a few days ago that I didn't trust this woman's motives and that I thought it best he at least stop seeing her until her divorce is final and that he should make it clear that he has no intentions of getting re-married or co-habitating before she takes that path...which is what he is telling me at least are his intentions. In other words, she can leave her husband if she wants but he isn't going to provide for her.
I've spoken to my siblings and they think he is acting like an old goat and I being the child to whom he confides he most...need to talk some sense into him and have him seek companionship from a woman his own age that has her own money and no children at home.
We are obviously emotionally involved, don't want to see im hurt and yes, there is a financial aspect. I don't want some gold digger walking off with my potential inheritance nor my siblings inheritance.
I want my fathers retirement years to be full and joyful but I'm afraid that he is being naive about this woman. Even if he keeps to his words of not re-marrying, I think he will be hurt when he learns she is really just after his money. I don't know that for sure but every fiber of my senses are telling me not to trust this woman's motives.
Anyone have any advice or been through a similar situation?
My father was her primary care giver for most of the years she was ill and took her passing very hard. He has been extremely lonely these past 19 months but recently has begun 'dating' a woman he met a couple months ago. Bear in mind he is in his 70s.
Due to his loneliness and the years of caring for my mother I'm delighted he is getting out more and has found someone's company he enjoys.
However...I have learned the woman is married, 18 years his junior and has a 14 year old son. I immediately objected to his seeing a married woman but he says she claims it s loveless marriage and she was going to leave him anyway. I've also told him that its not such a great idea that she has this son at home either. Her concerns should be focused on her son and not her own lovelife. But, as I get into that may very well be her motive.
Another wrinkle in this that my Dad is fairly well off. He's not rich per se but he will never have to worry about money again. The woman on the other is married to a former mechanic on disability and works in a retirement center. My Dad volunteers there a couple days a week and that is how they met.
I told him flat out a few days ago that I didn't trust this woman's motives and that I thought it best he at least stop seeing her until her divorce is final and that he should make it clear that he has no intentions of getting re-married or co-habitating before she takes that path...which is what he is telling me at least are his intentions. In other words, she can leave her husband if she wants but he isn't going to provide for her.
I've spoken to my siblings and they think he is acting like an old goat and I being the child to whom he confides he most...need to talk some sense into him and have him seek companionship from a woman his own age that has her own money and no children at home.
We are obviously emotionally involved, don't want to see im hurt and yes, there is a financial aspect. I don't want some gold digger walking off with my potential inheritance nor my siblings inheritance.
I want my fathers retirement years to be full and joyful but I'm afraid that he is being naive about this woman. Even if he keeps to his words of not re-marrying, I think he will be hurt when he learns she is really just after his money. I don't know that for sure but every fiber of my senses are telling me not to trust this woman's motives.
Anyone have any advice or been through a similar situation?
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