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  • Bosnian Tail Update

    Dinner with Ms. Bosnia.

    Was supposed to be a twosome - figured I'd do my bit for international relations. So I grab a bottle of wine and head over to Little Bosnia.

    Now, my first mistake was probably having a few pints beforehand. So I show up fairly well pissed, thinking at least I won't be able to taste the food. I walk in and surprise, there's some giant, shirtless, bald Bosnian fucker sitting at the table. Turns out it's her brother, and he's eating with us.

    Now, I've got an accent, but I can't make out a fucking word this cunt is saying. She tells me he was in "the war" and the bastard has shrapnel in his head. So I sit there and bide my time, waiting for her to bring out the food. Her brother stares at me with laser-like intensity. I kid you not, this cunt's glare was fixed on me for several minutes. Eventually, we start eating. He has said fuck all except for a few grunts in Bosnian. I couldn't tell if he was talking to me, her, or some imaginary Serb.

    Anyway, halfway through the meal (by now I'm three sheets to the fucking wind) he barks something at her and she shakes her head. He does it again 1 minute later and they start yelling at each other. Eventually they stop, she looks at me, and says "My brother wants you to lend him fifty dollars." I was so stunned I almost agreed, before coming to my senses. I then starting laughing at this prick. He gets up and I swear I thought the bastard was going to have at me, but he just storms off and slams the door behind him. I left shortly afterward.

    Indu, you were right mate. These Bosnians are like fucking gypos!
    I let my hair air dry thereby getting more hair pie
    I want to fire blanks in Tyra Banks
    I like shorn quim lasses in horn-rimmed glasses
    but Cindy Crawford ...offered
    I would keep a tidy room for Heidi Klum
    I'm immersed in Kirstie Alley's thirsty valley

    I want a smelly slice of Kelly Price
    Plus get with the hairy scar of Teri Garr
    I would jizz early inside Liz Hurley
    Sigourney Weaver has a thrashing horny beaver
    Winona Ryder? Going inside her!
    I want to get on the whole width of Anna Nicole Smith

  • #2
    Damn dude, I hope this piece of ass is worth all of this.
    RIP Chris Jones 1971-2009
    You'll never be forgotten.

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by temujin@Mar 11 2004, 09:48 PM
      Dinner with Ms. Bosnia.

      Was supposed to be a twosome - figured I'd do my bit for international relations. So I grab a bottle of wine and head over to Little Bosnia.

      Now, my first mistake was probably having a few pints beforehand. So I show up fairly well pissed, thinking at least I won't be able to taste the food. I walk in and surprise, there's some giant, shirtless, bald Bosnian fucker sitting at the table. Turns out it's her brother, and he's eating with us.

      Now, I've got an accent, but I can't make out a fucking word this cunt is saying. She tells me he was in "the war" and the bastard has shrapnel in his head. So I sit there and bide my time, waiting for her to bring out the food. Her brother stares at me with laser-like intensity. I kid you not, this cunt's glare was fixed on me for several minutes. Eventually, we start eating. He has said fuck all except for a few grunts in Bosnian. I couldn't tell if he was talking to me, her, or some imaginary Serb.

      Anyway, halfway through the meal (by now I'm three sheets to the fucking wind) he barks something at her and she shakes her head. He does it again 1 minute later and they start yelling at each other. Eventually they stop, she looks at me, and says "My brother wants you to lend him fifty dollars." I was so stunned I almost agreed, before coming to my senses. I then starting laughing at this prick. He gets up and I swear I thought the bastard was going to have at me, but he just storms off and slams the door behind him. I left shortly afterward.

      Indu, you were right mate. These Bosnians are like fucking gypos!

      "Can't buy what I want because it's free...
      Can't buy what I want because it's free..."
      -- Pearl Jam, from the single Corduroy

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by temujin@Mar 11 2004, 09:48 PM
        Dinner with Ms. Bosnia.

        Was supposed to be a twosome - figured I'd do my bit for international relations. So I grab a bottle of wine and head over to Little Bosnia.

        Now, my first mistake was probably having a few pints beforehand. So I show up fairly well pissed, thinking at least I won't be able to taste the food. I walk in and surprise, there's some giant, shirtless, bald Bosnian fucker sitting at the table. Turns out it's her brother, and he's eating with us.

        Now, I've got an accent, but I can't make out a fucking word this cunt is saying. She tells me he was in "the war" and the bastard has shrapnel in his head. So I sit there and bide my time, waiting for her to bring out the food. Her brother stares at me with laser-like intensity. I kid you not, this cunt's glare was fixed on me for several minutes. Eventually, we start eating. He has said fuck all except for a few grunts in Bosnian. I couldn't tell if he was talking to me, her, or some imaginary Serb.

        Anyway, halfway through the meal (by now I'm three sheets to the fucking wind) he barks something at her and she shakes her head. He does it again 1 minute later and they start yelling at each other. Eventually they stop, she looks at me, and says "My brother wants you to lend him fifty dollars." I was so stunned I almost agreed, before coming to my senses. I then starting laughing at this prick. He gets up and I swear I thought the bastard was going to have at me, but he just storms off and slams the door behind him. I left shortly afterward.

        Indu, you were right mate. These Bosnians are like fucking gypos!
        That's hysterical!!!!
        Official Lounge Sponsor of:
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        • #5
          What a great narrative.

          I hope you keep us up to date.

          So, what happened after he left? You leave on your own w/o "any?"

          Future plans?
          When you say to your neighbor, "We're having a loud party on Saturday night if that's alright with you," what you really mean is, "We're having a loud party on Saturday night."

          Comment


          • #6
            CLASSIC!

            So when's the next date?

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by temujin@Mar 11 2004, 09:48 PM
              Dinner with Ms. Bosnia.

              Was supposed to be a twosome - figured I'd do my bit for international relations. So I grab a bottle of wine and head over to Little Bosnia.

              Now, my first mistake was probably having a few pints beforehand. So I show up fairly well pissed, thinking at least I won't be able to taste the food. I walk in and surprise, there's some giant, shirtless, bald Bosnian fucker sitting at the table. Turns out it's her brother, and he's eating with us.

              Now, I've got an accent, but I can't make out a fucking word this cunt is saying. She tells me he was in "the war" and the bastard has shrapnel in his head. So I sit there and bide my time, waiting for her to bring out the food. Her brother stares at me with laser-like intensity. I kid you not, this cunt's glare was fixed on me for several minutes. Eventually, we start eating. He has said fuck all except for a few grunts in Bosnian. I couldn't tell if he was talking to me, her, or some imaginary Serb.

              Anyway, halfway through the meal (by now I'm three sheets to the fucking wind) he barks something at her and she shakes her head. He does it again 1 minute later and they start yelling at each other. Eventually they stop, she looks at me, and says "My brother wants you to lend him fifty dollars." I was so stunned I almost agreed, before coming to my senses. I then starting laughing at this prick. He gets up and I swear I thought the bastard was going to have at me, but he just storms off and slams the door behind him. I left shortly afterward.

              Indu, you were right mate. These Bosnians are like fucking gypos!
              Temu-

              Mate, first let's get a few things straight...

              Going to the boozer and having a pint is never a bad idea...especially before going to Boso land and having a dinni..sounds like it was the perfect decision.

              Second...a bald, fat guy w/ no shirt on at the dinner table..mate, what does that tell you? If this Bitzer would have had a go at me like he did you, well, I would have given that blind Joey a Bushman's Hanky..I mean this cunt has the social graces of a tit mouse..and to boot, this SOB wants you to lend him some quid...tell him to stuff himself. I am London to a Brick that this cunt thought you were an easy target...funny, because all of the Scottish cunts I know are cheap as dirt ..my mate tells me this is the national character.

              I would have a sit down with your gypsy bird and set the situation straight...you are not an ATM machine and you certainly dont make points of giving greasy asshats cash. He wants money, find a fucking job you Boso wanker...

              Now..I hope that you realise your relationship is not going anywhere and you need to cark it...only then, will you be apples.

              I am sure you can find an American bird that'll appreciate you more than this gypo Boso tart...and you just imgaine getting the quick into that family...matey, you dont even wanna go down that path..

              Cheers.

              Comment


              • #8
                I just re-read what I wrote...

                Sorry...anyone need a translator???

                Comment


                • #9
                  We're supposed to be on for something this weekend.

                  I hope that crazy fuck doesn't have any friends who read this board.
                  I let my hair air dry thereby getting more hair pie
                  I want to fire blanks in Tyra Banks
                  I like shorn quim lasses in horn-rimmed glasses
                  but Cindy Crawford ...offered
                  I would keep a tidy room for Heidi Klum
                  I'm immersed in Kirstie Alley's thirsty valley

                  I want a smelly slice of Kelly Price
                  Plus get with the hairy scar of Teri Garr
                  I would jizz early inside Liz Hurley
                  Sigourney Weaver has a thrashing horny beaver
                  Winona Ryder? Going inside her!
                  I want to get on the whole width of Anna Nicole Smith

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    decoder ring, plz.
                    Official Lounge Sponsor of:
                    MIGOTS!, TJ Oshie, David Freese, Sponsoring Softball Players, Trout, Bon Jovi, Cold, hard facts, rigidly defined with mathematical precision, The abortion boat, which traveled to Poland in 2003 and Ireland in 2001.

                    Former Lounge Sponsor of:
                    The Hebrew Hammer, BBZ, Foods that start with the letter 'Q', Paul 'Visor' Mitchell, FBBHOFer Brett "William" Wallace, BBFHOF, THE LALPHABET: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N I Z M N O P Q R S T U V Z T U V X Y X Z, The Return of MarkD.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Indu WangZi@Mar 11 2004, 10:08 PM
                      I just re-read what I wrote...

                      Sorry...anyone need a translator???
                      Not for me, Wang.

                      I understood every word of it.
                      RIP Chris Jones 1971-2009
                      You'll never be forgotten.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by temujin@Mar 11 2004, 10:09 PM
                        We're supposed to be on for something this weekend.

                        My advice: Given what you've told us, if you don't get in her pants this weekend, drop her.

                        Not worth it.
                        When you say to your neighbor, "We're having a loud party on Saturday night if that's alright with you," what you really mean is, "We're having a loud party on Saturday night."

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Indu WangZi@Mar 11 2004, 10:06 PM
                          I am sure you can find an American bird that'll appreciate you more than this gypo Boso tart...
                          Go for the Czech or Russian gals.

                          They'll appreciate anything.
                          When you say to your neighbor, "We're having a loud party on Saturday night if that's alright with you," what you really mean is, "We're having a loud party on Saturday night."

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by WinstonSmith+Mar 11 2004, 10:13 PM-->
                            QUOTE (WinstonSmith @ Mar 11 2004, 10:13 PM)

                          • #15
                            Originally posted by temujin@Mar 11 2004, 10:09 PM
                            We're supposed to be on for something this weekend.

                            I hope that crazy fuck doesn't have any friends who read this board.
                            mate, from the sound of it..

                            This Standover man cant even friggin' read...let alone comprehend sarcasm.

                            I think you are fine..

                            Now...listen to me...Hirt the Turps and have a monster piss up...

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