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Ashcroft to have gallbladder removed

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  • Ashcroft to have gallbladder removed

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  • #2
    Hopefully they'll add a heart while they are in there.
    Dude. Can. Fly.

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    • #3
      Apparently, the doctors used the Patriot Act legislation to justify performing a body-cavity search on Ashcroft prior to surgery. Reports indicate they found the Bill fo Rights stuffed up his ass.

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      • #4


        Bill of Rights pared to a more manageable 6

        The Fourth Amendment, which long protected citizens' homes against unreasonable search and seizure, was among the eliminated amendments. Also stricken was the Ninth Amendment, which stated that the enumeration of certain Constitutional rights does not result in the abrogation of rights not mentioned.

        "Quite honestly, I could never get my head around what the Ninth Amendment meant anyway," said outgoing House Majority Leader Dick Armey (R-TX), one of the leading advocates of the revised Bill of Rights. "So goodbye to that one."

        -snip-

        Attorney General John Ashcroft hailed the slimmed-down Bill of Rights as "a positive step."

        "Go up to the average citizen and ask them what's in the Bill of Rights," Ashcroft said. "Chances are, they'll have only a vague notion. They just know it's a set of rules put in place to protect their individual freedoms from government intrusion, and they assume that's a good thing."
        Dude. Can. Fly.

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        • #5
          How ironic that one of the most prominent producers of bile in the Bush administration is having his gall bladder removed.

          I wish Mr. Ashcroft a speedy recovery and a long, uneventful retirement.
          2005 Mandatory Loyalty Oath: I love America, our troops, baseball, Moms, and certain pies. I want no harm to come to any of those institutions, nor do I take any glee in their demise.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Iowa_Card@Mar 9 2004, 09:22 AM
            Apparently, the doctors used the Patriot Act legislation to justify performing a body-cavity search on Ashcroft prior to surgery. Reports indicate they found the Bill fo Rights stuffed up his ass.
            touche Iowa... I literally fell outof my chair...


            Official Lounge Co-Sponsor of Matty Mo.

            "Authority is supposedly grounded in wisdom. But I could see from a very early age that authority was only a system of control, and it didn't have any inherent wisdom.." --- Joe Strummer

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            • #7
              Originally posted by dvyyyyyy@Mar 9 2004, 09:01 AM
              Hopefully they'll add a heart while they are in there.
              Think of all the things he could do if he only had a heart.

              If he only had a brain too.
              First Fan of the Halifax IceBreakers!

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              • #8
                Wonder if I can sneak into the hospital and change the surgery papers to read...

                Labotomy...

                That is what this azzpie needs

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