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Jeff Moss

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  • Jeff Moss

    I really enjoy reading this guys columns. I think this has been one of his better ones. (I mainly wanted Dev to read it)

    by Jeff Moss
    e-mail: [email protected]

    As you probably know by now, today marks the one-year anniversary of the

    Regular readers of this site probably know by now that I am not the most sentimental person around so I am not about to start waxing poetic. I do want to thank all of the readers who have supported the site and have given us the inspiration to continue this endeavor.

    And for our loyal followers, don't worry, we aren't stopping at one year. To quote Lando Calrissian, "Things have developed that will insure security. I've just made a deal that will keep the Empire out of here forever."

    There will be more information on that in the coming days. In the meantime, let's go to the Mossisms.

    I am not sure I could have scripted the Pistons-Nuggets matchup any better if I tried. Let's see, Marshmallow Anthony shoots 3-for-17 from the floor while being bitch slapped around in his own end by Corliss Williamson and Tayshaun Prince and the biggest cheer from the Denver crowd came when Darko Milicic entered the game. Oh yeah, and the Pistons crushed the Nuggets 97-66.

    And did I mention that Prick Carlisle had a front row view of the massacre because his Pacers played in Denver last night?

    When the cameras were focused on Carlisle and Kiki Vandeweghe I actually read Prick's lips when he said:

    "The next time I see (Atlanta GM) Billy Knight and Danny Ainge, I am going to treat them like a Palace secretary."

    In my version though, Darko would have scored more points than Big Dog, Jr. and Veronica Verakova would have been giving me a lap dance during the game, but I am not going to get greedy.

    Now, I know that one game doesn't make a career, but I am glad to see that Pistons fans finally got to watch Marshmallow for themselves. While his shooting is going to come and go (more of the latter against great defensive teams like the Pistons), his atrocious defense was about the norm.

    "Straight Outta Compton" and "The Big Nasty" both made Anthony looks silly. The highlight of the night was Price taking Carmelo off the dribble and dunking over Nene.

    And you don't think the NBA is trying to sell this guy? named Anthony Denver's player of the game after the debacle. I know there really isn't a team MVP when your squad becomes the first since the shot clock was instituted to not have a guy score in double figures, but come on.

    Anthony was horrible from the floor, awful in his own end and turned the ball over three times. Hell, Jon Barry scored the same amount of points on 12 less shots. I guess Big Dog, Jr. is their default player of the game no matter what happens on the floor.

    But enough about Mr. One-Dimensional, how about the Pistons? They became the first team since the shot clock was invented to hold teams under 70 points for three straight games. And this came on a West Coast road trip!

    Let me tell you something. When you mention the invention of the 24 second shot clock twice in the same article, you probably are talking about a pretty good defense.

    A few weeks ago, "The Pamphlet" Pat Caputo wrote the following gem, "The Pistons have won 33 games. Of those 33 victories, 13 came consecutively during an easy stretch of their schedule. Otherwise, the Pistons are 20-21." Brilliant logic!

    I guess we can expect a follow-up this week in the Daily Oakland Press from Caputo where we explains that the Pistons have won 41 games, but 13 came during the win streak, 8 came in the afternoon and 4 came on the Sabbath. Other than that, they are 20-21.

    Yeah, and if you took away the '84 Tigers 35-5 start, they would only have been 69-53. Nice logic, "Pamphlet."

    This team is flat-out destroying the opposition and doing so without Richard Hamilton and Mehmet Okur. A month ago the Pistons couldn't win a game without Memo in the lineup. Now they are setting records without him and Rip healthy.

    That might have something to do with the acquisition of Rasheed Wallace. If the guy didn't score a point he would be invaluable. The Pistons interior defense with Big Ben and Rasheed is impetuous, their defense is impregnable, they are just ferocious, they want your heart, they wanna eat your children. Praise be to Allah!

    Oops, wrong speech. But I think you get the point. This team is gelling at the right time. Even Elden Campbell has been playing well for Vick's sake!

    Can you imagine how good this team will be when Rip and Memo get healthy? Maybe Joe Dumars knows what he is doing after all.

    Ya think?

    And I would be remiss not to mention Larry Brown in this overall fluffing of the Pistons. Sometimes I am not sure if there is a method to his madness, but then he gets all over Prince and transforms him from a shrinking violet to the second coming of Ron Artest.

    Maybe LB should have put Tayshuan on the rookie bus and made him pick up Ben's towels awhile ago if it was going to have this effect.

    The Pistons have 17 games left and a majority of those are against sub-.500 squads. All the team has to play for at this point is home court advantage against the Nets and to further come together as a unit.

    Which leads me to one more Capluto quote from that February 13th column, "They need to go 17-11 the remainder of the season to win 50 games for the third straight year. Doesn't seem like quite the lock it once did, does it?"

    You are right Pat, they aren't going to win 50 games, they probably will win 53 or 54.

    And one last thing, if this current Pistons team played the 2003 squad on a neutral court, let's say umm, the Palace, what do you think would happen?

    I would take my chances with Tayshaun against Michael Curry and Rasheed opposite Cliff Robinson. And the' 04 Pistons would have a Ben Wallace that you actually have to guard thanks to Brown.

    This current team would probably be about a 12-point favorite.

    Never doubt Joe D.

    Add new Lions cornerback Fernando Bryant to the list of people who think "Ann Arbor" Doug Karsch is a total moron.

    Karsch interviewed Bryant on Friday and asked the former Jaguar if he came to Detroit in spite of Matt Millen. Bryant responded with something to the effect of "Are you out of your mind?"

    No, Fernando, that is just his normal stupidity. Obviously you will be listening to Stoney and Wojo just like the rest of us.

    The question would have been bad enough considering Millen has been able to attract the top free agent corner last year and the best offensive lineman of this crop.

    But when you add the fact that Bryant mentioned Millen being the GM as a positive during his press conference, then the question becomes horrible by even Ann Arbor Dougie standards.

    When are you going to put an end to this abortion of a show, Grahambo? I guess as long as Karsch is getting Kevin Grahams' coffee and picking up his laundry, fans of Art Regner will continue to be held hostage.

    A DSR reader recently posted a link to an article that the late Steve Crowe wrote back in 2000 regarding "The Down Arrow" getting canned by then WDFN PD Gregg Henson.

    This was my favorite quote from E.J. Mitchell's bitch, "This is not the same station that Lorna Gladstone started. It's amateurish. It's profane. Mark (Wilson) and I didn't belong there. We're professionals. The Fan sounds like a bad college radio station, run by an uninformed guy who only thinks about sex," meaning Henson.

    Yeah, Rob, your "professional" show should be on a Christian station. This coming from a guy who asks female callers to his show on 97.1 what color panties they are wearing. A show where a segment doesn't go by without sexual innuendo. A show that has hosted strippers from John John's explicitly talking about sex acts.

    Now I don't mind that stuff, but can you believe what a freaking hypocrite this guy is?

    You didn't actually think I could write an article on the one-year anniversary of the site without mentioning Parker and Henson, did you?

    The Democrats want to win the 2004 election so bad that the entire party threw Howard Dean over the bridge the minute they figured he had no chance of beating President Bush.

    So how do you think the party will react to recent poll results showing Ralph Nader at 6%? That would be just enough to probably cost the Democrats their second straight election.

    If I was Ralph Nader, the only car safety I would be worried about is someone starting my vehicle in the morning. These people hate Dubya so much that I wouldn't put anything past them.

    Did you see Bill Gates recent idea to stop e-mail spam? He figures if you start charging for e-mails that the spammers will go away.

    Excuse me, but I would rather have 100 penile enlargement and Viagra e-mails a day as opposed to paying. Between responses to Ken the Banker and my hate mail, I would be in the poor house.

    Hey, Bill, I have a good idea for dealing with overpopulation. A surcharge on oxygen.


  • #2
    Is this guy the Hadley of Detroit only more informed?
    Official sponsor of Mike Shannon's Retirement Party


    • #3
      Thanks for posting that.

      He's wrong about Melo though. They don't need him now but in five years, they're going to regret taking Darko instead. He's a 19-year-old who had never seen a defense like Detroit's before. The Melo/Darko decision can't be truly judged now but I have no doubt that Melo will be a significantly better player.

      I think the Pistons are the best team in the East but I also think that if they play Indiana that the Pacers have the coaching edge.


      • #4

        Oh yes, Davidson likes Darko Milicic, the 7-foot rookie who seldom plays.

        “I’m 100 percent behind Darko,” he said. “Now, we may change our mind at the end of next year, but it’s gone exactly as we figured. The kid is barely 18. As of now, I’m fully convinced he will develop.”

        Davidson was just warming up. He’s familiar with the rants about Carmelo Anthony, the prodigy bypassed by the Pistons. It’s a move Dumars defends relentlessly and Davidson defends loudly.

        “You knew Carmelo was going to do well,” Davidson said. “But I think all of the people who are criticizing Darko now are full of shit.”

        I thought that was pretty funny and a good article on BD.