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IF YOU WERE MARTHA'S CELLMATE

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  • IF YOU WERE MARTHA'S CELLMATE

    You are a 240lbs angry lesbian. You are doing hard time because you gutted your husband when you saw him fooling around with a 19 year old strumpet out behind a tavern. Your new roomie was convicted on securties fraud and starts trying to 'brighten up' your room.....she just touched your shit:
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    hey! bitch! make me a sandwich!
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    hey! bitch! make me flatbread pizza with fresh parmegean!
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    hey! bitch! service my beef curtains!
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    do you think Adibisi\'s cell looks better with or without the curtai
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    Are you on the list?

  • #2
    It's time for me to eat.
    Make America Great For Once.

    Comment


    • #3
      "Got any stock tips?"
      "There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
      --Albert Einstein

      Comment


      • #4
        i'm going to do you with a plunger...and that's a good thing.
        Are you on the list?

        Comment


        • #5
          You're dreaming SLU, it's Club Fed for her all the way.
          Damn these electric sex pants!

          26+31+34+42+44+46+64+67+82+06 = 10

          Bring back the death penalty for corporations!

          Comment


          • #6
            I'd tell her I wish it could have happened 30 years ago. Then I'd have never had the misfortune to hear the most boring and annoying voice in the world.

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            • #7
              Edit: Double Post :angry:

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              • #8
                "We get caught laundering money, we're not going to white collar resort prison. No, no, no. We're going to Federal 'Pound me in the Ass' prison!"

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                • #9
                  "Hey, sweetie pie, why don't you let me trim that doilie for you..."
                  Official sponsor of the baseball gods and other missalaneous stuff.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    let's felch!
                    Official 2009 Sponsor of nobody

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                    • #11
                      Please stop fisting me Ms. Stewart!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Martha, I wish to hell you were Ken Lay!
                        Norman Chad, syndicated columnist: “Sports radio, reflecting our sinking culture, spends entire days advising managers and coaches, berating managers and coaches, firing managers and coaches and searching the countryside for better middle relievers. If they just redirected their energy toward, say, crosswalk-signal maintenance, America would be 2 percent more livable.”

                        "The best argument against democracy," someone (Churchill?) said, "is a five minute conversation with the average voter."

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                        • #13
                          Hi sweetie, my name is Bertilda and we're going to be goooood friends.
                          LONG LIVE THE NOTE!

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                          • #14
                            I would pull the Cartman and say--get your ass in the kitchen and make me a pie
                            Sponsor of:
                            Brian Elliott
                            Kolten Wong & the arch in the outfield grass at Busch Stadium
                            5-29-14-House77 turns down offer of free beer from me

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              "how can we make this toilet in the corner a bit more . . . uh . . . Homey?"

                              Official Sponsor of Marco Gonzales and the Productive Out!!!


                              Said the Quangle Wangle Quee

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