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  • Bill Brasky

    Insert story here.
    If you believe in something sacrifice a hobo to it or don't bother.

  • #2
    "If you drop a phonograph needle on Brasky's nipple, it plays the Beach Boys' 'Pet Sounds.'"
    Official Lounge Sponsor of:
    MIGOTS!, TJ Oshie, David Freese, Sponsoring Softball Players, Trout, Bon Jovi, Cold, hard facts, rigidly defined with mathematical precision, The abortion boat, which traveled to Poland in 2003 and Ireland in 2001.

    Former Lounge Sponsor of:
    The Hebrew Hammer, BBZ, Foods that start with the letter 'Q', Paul 'Visor' Mitchell, FBBHOFer Brett "William" Wallace, BBFHOF, THE LALPHABET: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N I Z M N O P Q R S T U V Z T U V X Y X Z, The Return of MarkD.

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    • #3
      Did I ever tell you about the time Bill Brasky showed up at my daughter's wedding? You know my daughter, she's a beautiful girl. Well, Brasky shows up... and you know he's a big fella.... goes about 7'8", 530. Well, he's standing right between me and my daughter at the ceremony. He's got no right to be there, but he's drunk and he's Brasky! Well, long story short: the priest accidentally marries me and Brasky! We spend the weekend in the Poconos - he loves me like I've never been loved before!"
      Official Sponsor of Jim Edmonds & John Smoltz

      Comment


      • #4
        "Did I ever tell you about the time he taught his son how to drive? He did it by entering him in the Indy 500. The kid wrecked and died. Brasky said it would've happened sometime."
        Official Lounge Sponsor of:
        MIGOTS!, TJ Oshie, David Freese, Sponsoring Softball Players, Trout, Bon Jovi, Cold, hard facts, rigidly defined with mathematical precision, The abortion boat, which traveled to Poland in 2003 and Ireland in 2001.

        Former Lounge Sponsor of:
        The Hebrew Hammer, BBZ, Foods that start with the letter 'Q', Paul 'Visor' Mitchell, FBBHOFer Brett "William" Wallace, BBFHOF, THE LALPHABET: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N I Z M N O P Q R S T U V Z T U V X Y X Z, The Return of MarkD.

        Comment


        • #5
          "Did I ever tell you about the time Brasky took me out to go get a drink with him? We go off looking for a bar and we can't find one. Finally Brasky takes me to a vacant lot and says, 'Here we are.' We sat there for a year and a half and sure enough someone constructs a bar around us. The day they opened we ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Brasky yelled over the roar of the flames, 'Always leave things the way you found em!'"
          Official Sponsor of Jim Edmonds & John Smoltz

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          • #6
            "Did I ever tell you about the time Brasky was in a production of, 'The King & I?' On opening night, Brasky chloroforms the entire cast and slowly eats them in front of the audience for two hours. The production got pretty good reviews."
            Official Lounge Sponsor of:
            MIGOTS!, TJ Oshie, David Freese, Sponsoring Softball Players, Trout, Bon Jovi, Cold, hard facts, rigidly defined with mathematical precision, The abortion boat, which traveled to Poland in 2003 and Ireland in 2001.

            Former Lounge Sponsor of:
            The Hebrew Hammer, BBZ, Foods that start with the letter 'Q', Paul 'Visor' Mitchell, FBBHOFer Brett "William" Wallace, BBFHOF, THE LALPHABET: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N I Z M N O P Q R S T U V Z T U V X Y X Z, The Return of MarkD.

            Comment


            • #7
              He sheds his skin once a year
              If you believe in something sacrifice a hobo to it or don't bother.

              Comment


              • #8
                "He has a toenail on the end of his penis."
                Official Lounge Sponsor of:
                MIGOTS!, TJ Oshie, David Freese, Sponsoring Softball Players, Trout, Bon Jovi, Cold, hard facts, rigidly defined with mathematical precision, The abortion boat, which traveled to Poland in 2003 and Ireland in 2001.

                Former Lounge Sponsor of:
                The Hebrew Hammer, BBZ, Foods that start with the letter 'Q', Paul 'Visor' Mitchell, FBBHOFer Brett "William" Wallace, BBFHOF, THE LALPHABET: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N I Z M N O P Q R S T U V Z T U V X Y X Z, The Return of MarkD.

                Comment


                • #9
                  First Friend of Brasky: Bill Brasky is a son of a bitch! Do you fellas know Bill Brasky?

                  Second Friend of Brasky: Hell yeah, I know Bill Brasky! He's a big fella, goes about 6'4", 280. He loves his Scotch!

                  Third Friend of Brasky: He does! He's a hell of a salesman!

                  Fourth Friend of Brasky: To Bill Brasky!

                  Together: Bill Brasky!!

                  Third: Did you know Bill Brasky is the godfather of my son?

                  Fourth: Bill Brasky?

                  First: He's a big fella!

                  Second: Oh yeah, he's a big guy! Goes about 6'7", 385.

                  Third: Well, anyway.. he shows up at the church in his golf pants, caked in mud. Well, ol' Bill Brasky pushes the priest aside and says, "I'll baptize that piece of calimari!" Then he pours Scotch all over my baby son and says, "There! You're baptized!"

                  Fourth: And your son is blind to this day!

                  First: Yeah, he makes brooms somewhere in Georgia, doesn't he?

                  Third: I have no idea. [ pause ] To Bill Brasky!

                  Together: Bill Brasky!!

                  Second: Did I ever tell you about the time Bill Brasky sold me into slavery?

                  First: Well, if you're talking about Bill Brasky, I believe it!

                  Second: Oh, yeah! He puts me on a ship to Thailand, right? And I'm chained to a pipe. Meanwhile, ol' Brasky, he's back in the States siring three beautiful children with my wife!

                  First: I hate Bill Brasky.. but I respect him!

                  Guy At Bar: Are you talking about Bill Brasky? I know Bill Brasky!

                  First: Then let me buy you a round!

                  Third: Hey, easy, Hank, easy.. To Bill Brasky!

                  Together: Bill Brasky!!

                  Fourth: Did I ever tell you about the time Bill Brasky showed up at my daughter's wedding? You know my daughter, she's a beautiful girl.

                  First: I tell you, I'd like to have sex with her!

                  Fourth: Well, Brasky shows up.. and you know he's a big fella.

                  Third: Goes about 7'8", 530.

                  Fourth: Well, he's standing right between me and my daughter at the ceremony. He's got no right to be there, but he's drunk and he's Brasky! Well, long story short: the priest accidentally marries me and Brasky! [ the guys laugh ] Off! Off! Off! We spend the weekend in the Poconos - he loves me like I've never been loved before!

                  Second: Best damn salesman in the office!

                  Together: Bill Brasky!!

                  Third: You know how Brasky served three tours in 'Nam?

                  Fourth: Uh-huh!

                  Third: Well, I'm in Corpus Christi on business a month ago, and I had this eight-foot tall Asian waiter.. which made me a little curious, so I asked him his name, and sure enough it's Ho Tran Brasky!

                  First: To William Robert Brasky!

                  Second: Oh, yeah!

                  Fourth: Hey, you ever go camping with Brasky?

                  Third: Many times.

                  First: I went camping with Brasky, his wife, and his daughter Debbie!

                  Third: Debbie Brasky?

                  First: Debbie Brasky. She's 7-years-old, goes about 3'5", 55 pounds. So, I'm in the back of a pickup with Bill Brasky and a live deer! Well, Brasky, he grabs the deer by the antlers, looks at it and says, "I'm Bill Brasky! Say it!" Then he squeezes the deer in such a way that a sound comes out of its mouth - "Billbrasky!" It wasn't exactly it, but it was pretty good for a deer!

                  Third: That's Bill Brasky!

                  Together: Bill Brasky!!

                  Fourth: I once saw him eat a whole live chicken.

                  First: His favorite movie is "One on One" with Robby Benson.

                  Fourth: Bill Brasky once gave me a videotape of him having sex with my wife, and it was the most beautiful damn thing I ever saw!

                  Second: I have that tape!

                  Guy At Bar: [ turning around ] So do I!

                  Third: To Bill Brasky! A ten-foot-tall, two-ton son of a bitch who could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing!

                  Together: Bill Brasky!!

                  Big Booming Voice: [ from extremely tall figure in upper camera angle ] Did someone say Bill Brasky?

                  Together: BILL BRASKY!!
                  Official Sponsor of Jim Edmonds & John Smoltz

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    "Bill Brasky was a 10 foot monster who slept with all our wives! And punched us all in the face! And we loved him for it!"
                    Official Lounge Sponsor of:
                    MIGOTS!, TJ Oshie, David Freese, Sponsoring Softball Players, Trout, Bon Jovi, Cold, hard facts, rigidly defined with mathematical precision, The abortion boat, which traveled to Poland in 2003 and Ireland in 2001.

                    Former Lounge Sponsor of:
                    The Hebrew Hammer, BBZ, Foods that start with the letter 'Q', Paul 'Visor' Mitchell, FBBHOFer Brett "William" Wallace, BBFHOF, THE LALPHABET: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N I Z M N O P Q R S T U V Z T U V X Y X Z, The Return of MarkD.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I heard he drives an Ice Cream truck covered in human skulls!

                      Official Lounge Sponsor of Lou Brock (really) and Ryan Franklin (really)*

                      * Payment processing. It will be official soon.

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                      • #12
                        We once had a bachelor party for Bill Brasky. He ate the entire cake, before we could tell him there was a stripper in it.

                        Official Lounge Sponsor of Lou Brock (really) and Ryan Franklin (really)*

                        * Payment processing. It will be official soon.

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